The past fourteen months has been the longest learning experience of my life. I have learned that Mama is really the one who doesn't sleep very much. I have learned that my husband is sort of willing to get up in the middle of the night, if I really want him to. I have learned that that doesn't do much good, since it is impossible for him to produce milk.
I have learned that Avery does things at her own pace. For example, right about the time I started thinking, "Gee, Avery should probably start rolling over soon," she did, the very next day. But she just did it that day. She did it several times that day, but then she didn't do it again for another week or so. She had decided she wasn't ready to get all crazy and roll over all the time. It was like she was saying, "Look, Mama, I can roll over. I just don't really see the point at the moment."
She did the same thing with walking. We knew for several weeks that Avery was capable of walking or actually running all over the place before she did. And then one morning a couple of weeks ago, it was like she had decided in her crib before I went in to get her, "Yep. Today's the day I'm going to start walking!" It's been very humbling as her Mama because there is nothing I can do about that. Now that I've realized this, I actually like it. It makes me so proud of her - that she is her own person and not even her Mama can push her any faster than she likes.
The most recent thing I've learned is that I definitely have a Mama's intuition about some things. I know when it's time to go in and get her up from her nap. I know when she falls down and can just brush herself off and move on, or when she needs a little hug and reassurance that she's okay. I know when she just wants to feed herself, dang it! And I know when she's sick. On Monday, I knew something wasn't quite right, so I took her to the pediatrician's office to get checked out. Of course, the nurse practitioner said nothing was wrong. Actually, she said she might have a sore throat, but she didn't have an ear infection or anything. And I felt really self-conscious and embarrassed because this was the second time I've brought her in, thinking she might have an ear infection, and she did not. I do not overreact, by nature, so when I feel like I've overreacted, I get annoyed with myself. Anyway, we went home, without any answers, really. She continued to be fussy and not eat very well, and pulled on both of her ears - which is not something she typically does.
Then this morning (Wednesday), she woke up earlier than usual, wouldn't eat her breakfast, and then I noticed she felt pretty warm. I took her temp, it was 101.4 - the highest temp I had ever gotten from her, and I contemplated whether or not I should call the Doc. Since I am a level-headed person, I perused the binder from the pediatrician's office and concluded that she probably has a "cold" now and could run a fever for the next 3 days or so. And I don't need to call the Doc, unless her fever reaches 105 degrees? That seems a little high to me, but whatever. She took some Tylenol, we continued to hang out, and she continued to get fussier and clingier. And warmer. So I checked her temp a few hours later and watched the thermometer shoot up to 102 quickly, until it reached 102.4 degrees. Then, I felt really bad for my sweet baby. She was just miserable! But I made the promise to myself that if it reached 103, I would definitely be calling Dr. P. Thankfully, when I took her temp before bedtime, it was down to 101.1, so I'm hopeful a good night's sleep will do her some good.
And I'm trusting my instincts that when I know my baby's not feeling well, I'm probably right. I guess I was right just a couple of days too early this time. It's okay, though - I have at least another 17 years to get my timing down.
