Like, deep thinking. I know. Risky business.
But seriously, I have been thinking about why I do what I do. I know to some people, I'm just a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). And I know to some people, that is seen as a luxury. And I know that some people can get very jealous that I stay home with our child.
Something that I am learning in my adult life is that the way some people feel about me or perceive me is completely out of my control. All I can do is be who I am. Please allow me to explain.
The thing that got me thinking about all of this recently is the concept of making Avery's baby food. I decided that anything made fresh is definitely more healthy for you. That's why most nights, I make dinner for Stephen and I. While it'd be more convenient to throw a frozen pizza in the oven or crack open a jar of spaghetti sauce, I just rarely do. We rarely order food in, and we go out to eat maybe once a week. I'm not a health freak, but we try to lead a reasonably healthy lifestyle.
I want the same for our children. It is more convenient to open jars of baby food for every feeding. And I'm not going to say that Avery will never experience a jar of baby food because it is more convenient, it just might happen when I'm in a pinch. However, it will not be a daily occurrence for her. This is a choice we have made.
Not only is the homemade food better for her, it is incredibly cheaper. We have bought all of her organic veggies at Costco -- huge bags (5-10 lbs.) that are about $5-7.00 a bag. And I have 6 gallon size ziploc bags in our deep freeze, packed full of ice cube vegetables. I figure it's more than enough to last until Avery is eating finger foods. And I've only made 3 veggies and 2 fruits! Plus, we still have half of the bags of veggies left for Stephen and I to eat. I noticed at Target that the organic baby food is over a dollar a 4 ounce jar. The same stuff is about 68 cents a jar at Costco. I am guessing that 4 of the 1 ounce cubes I made cost about 12 cents to make, if that.
So, it's healthier, and it's cheaper. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, analyzing why we've decided to go the homemade food route has made me think about my job as a SAHM, too. Why am I doing this?
Well, I'll be honest. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. When I went into teaching, a big reason why I decided to was because it tends to be a little more manageable when you have kids...similar hours, vacations, etc. However, I had no idea who I would be marrying and if it would be possible for me to be a SAHM.
When Stephen and I went through our pre-marital counseling (this was so incredibly important to us), how we would raise our children was a topic that we discussed. Stephen and I both grew up in homes where our moms stayed home, for the most part. It's what we know and what we liked. We decided that I would most likely stay home with our kids, but that we'd re-evaluate when the time came. It was nice to have the peace of mind that we were on the same page with such a big issue.
When we found out I was pregnant when we were still living in the big K, everything seemed to fall into place, leading to me staying home when the baby came.
This had nothing to do with finances. It would be so much easier, financially, if I was working right now. We are making so many sacrifices in our life right now because we are on such a strict budget. There is coupon-clipping, shopping the weekly ads, meal planning, not shopping for pleasure, and constantly asking ourselves, "Do we really need that?"
This has been harder for me, I think, than it is for Stephen. He is simple and easy. I have to discreetly throw away anything that belongs to him because he'll wear t-shirts, boxers, and socks way past what I would consider acceptable condition. The guy still has all of his fraternity t-shirts and wears them frequently around the house. They are threadbare and holey, but he says they serve their purpose. Ha! I love him so much.
When we came back to the US last summer, the job market was (and is) just horrible, especially for Stephen's line of work. So, we decided to take a risk and start our own business. It is financially risky for us, since we'll be living off our savings until we start to make money, but he is doing what he has always wanted to do. And he's happy. That is worth so much more than a semi-dependable salary from an employer.
We also knew that because we were starting this business, and I wasn't working a paid job, we would do our part of being responsible with our finances, but also we were going to rely on God to provide for all of our needs.
And boy, has He. We have been under budget every month for the last nine months.
I'm not going to lie. It kinda sucks. Watching every penny that we spend and not getting to buy that cute outfit for Avery that she doesn't really need is hard work! Being a SAHM is not a luxury. It is a choice. It takes a lot of self-control and perseverance. I'll tell you what my motivation is.
This face:
Whether it's me staying home, or if it turned out that it made sense for Stephen to take care of her and me to work, we've made our choice. We want to be the ones that watch all of her firsts. We want to teach her our family values and beliefs. We want to watch her grow and change every day.
This is the path we have chosen.
That's the beauty of all of this. We all have choices to make when we become parents. Where do we live, who do we spend our time with, what do we do for fun, who takes care of the child? Just because we have made the choices that we have doesn't mean that everyone else needs to make the same choices. Every family needs to make the choices that work and make the most sense for them. Every family is different, so different choices will be made.
This is what works for us.
I'm more tired than I ever was teaching, and I don't get a paycheck, but it's sooooo worth it!
I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes with this. The intent of course, is not to offend. Like I said, we all make the choices that are right for us. :) It's actually only meant to encourage you to think about the choices you've made for your life. Are they right for you?
