Earlier this week, Stephen told me the markets would be closed today, due to Good Friday, so he suggested that we go to the zoo. I just renewed our membership, so it sounded like a good idea. I sent my good friend Mandy, a text, asking if her family would like to join us. It wasn't until I was getting us ready to leave this morning that I remembered that it's Spring Break for most of the city. Hmmmm, could be busy!
However, we decided to still stick it out and I'm glad we did. Yes, it was insanely busy when we got to the zoo at 10:00, but we got one of the last parking spaces, I'm sure. Mandy and her family were just a few minutes behind us, but had to park a long ways away, not even technically in zoo parking.
Although the zoo was filled with people, the weather was a perfect 62 degrees and sunny. I've found over the last 3 years while going to the zoo regularly that 60 degrees is the perfect temperature for the animals. They're all out and active. During the summer time, it's too hot for many of them, so most of the time, they are sleeping. Which is boring. And I've also found that the girls don't see the animal we're looking at, unless it's moving. Although, I was proud of Avery, as she found these tiny brightly colored frogs in a habitat behind glass today, and they were not moving.
Both girls had a great time with their little friends, until Avery fell apart when she fell down and scraped her knee. It was clear that it was time to go home and take a nap. However, both girls fell asleep in the car on the way home and did not transfer to their beds to continue their naps. Sigh. You can't have it all.
It was a good day.
Oh, and I forgot my camera, so I didn't take any pictures. Oops.
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Friday, March 29, 2013
Thursday, September 20, 2012
The Last Year or So...
It has been over a year since the last time I posted. And in that post, I promised to post more often.
But, life happened.
I had an almost two year old at the time, who we were about to start potty training because I was pregnant with our second baby, due in October, and I desperately didn't want two children in diapers at the same time.
Going from one to two kids has been difficult, to say the least. This last year has been hard for me. Really hard. I have had a year of understanding perspective, adjusting my expectations of myself, and of my children.
I chose to attempt natural childbirth with Evelyn, which took a lot of research, reading, and practicing. And then, when shove came to pushing, I had to accept the reality that it would be impossible to do. My baby was born by emergency c-section. I panicked when my doctor told me this would be the case, and afterwards, I was sad, depressed, and in a lot of pain. I questioned my ability to birth my children on my own. I entered motherhood for the second time in a deep hole of self-doubt. If I can't naturally birth my children, how can I be the mommy I always thought I would be? Things weren't as simple as I had idealized them.
But my friends and family complimented me in my ability to mother. My friends, especially. I don't know how you do it, Beth. You are a great mom. Inside, I was screaming, But, I'm not! I'm impatient, selfish, and tired! I do not love every minute of being with my kids. Most days, I wallow in my self pity. Most days, I feel like I barely make it. My house is always a disaster. I just want to be left alone, in my bed. I was lonely. I was depressed. And I felt like if I told my friends those thoughts, they would think I was a whiner. I got frustrated because I didn't want to give a false impression of myself. I wanted them to know that I'm not perfect, it's not easy, and I was really struggling. But I also wanted to be an encouragement to my friends, as much as I could be.
I realized that the more books and blogs I read about parenting and mothering, the worse I felt about myself. I went to a parenting class for about 12 weeks and Evelyn was born halfway through it, so I had her with me for the last few weeks. The class talked a lot about the importance of a schedule, having order in your house, and making your relationship with your husband the priority. These were all things I knew and had done with my firstborn, Avery. No problem. Avery was a "textbook baby." She adjusted to changes in her schedule within a couple of days. Reaching milestones never affected her sleep patterns. She slept 12 hours at night and took decent length naps, and was a very happy baby. I also started reading a blog that talked about the same philosophy as the parenting class. The blogger posts weekly updates on her baby, and had them labeled so I could reference the age that Evelyn was at. The blogger's baby would sleep 12-13 hours at night and sleep 4-6 hours during the day, even at 6 months old. Every week when I would read it, I felt stupid. My baby wasn't like that. What was I doing wrong this time? Evelyn did not get on a nap schedule until 9 months old, and it wasn't for lack of trying, on my part. The child would not sleep during the day. I was at a loss. I wasn't getting any time to myself, even fifteen minutes. I was a failure. I was trapped.
I also had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months, when I had gone until 14 months with Avery. Obviously, it was the best decision for Evelyn, as she wasn't growing enough, and was feeding more than ever. This time was just dramatically different than it was the first time. I felt like a failure again. I wasn't accepting myself. I wasn't accepting that my very best was enough.
Just in the last couple of months (Evelyn will be 11 months tomorrow), I have realized that everyone else's idea of "successful parenting" shouldn't matter to me. If my children are happy, well-mannered, and learning that Jesus loves them more than anything, then in my book, I am doing a good job as a mother. All parts of parenting have to work for each individual family. I am not saying that if it's too hard for you to say "no" to your child, then don't do it. Saying "no" to your child has to happen in every family, but the way it is done will vary.
I hesitate to give advice to any parent friend, even when they ask me for it. If I tell my friend who has children how we discipline our children, and then it doesn't work for their family, I don't want them to think, Well, we failed at doing it the way the Bruces do it. Stephen's and my standard of doing things for our household is what is right for us, but it's not for everyone. I've also discovered that we may do things one way for a while and then it starts to not work anymore, and we have to find a new, effective way of doing it. I have had to realize that this is probably normal. If I hold onto the thought, We have always done it this way, why isn't it working anymore?, then I try to force something that just is not working, all while wasting a couple of months, clinging onto what I've always known. It's silly.
Finally, my inability to blog during the last year plagued me. I admire the moms who somehow find a way to write on their blog several times a week. I seriously do not know how they do it, especially those who have young babies, who need their attention pretty much every minute of the day. I have had to let it go. For me, if I tried to put that much energy into anything other than my girls, I felt like a failure at everything. Blogging just isn't that important to me. However, I do want to document the girls' childhoods as much as I can, so I will figure out a way to do it. When I started this blog, Stephen and I were newly married, and I wasn't working. I knew we would be moving to a different country, so my motive with the blog was to keep our families and friends up to date with what was happening with us. When we moved back to the States, my motive to blog became a scrapbook for me and my family. Anyone who wants to read about it is welcome, but I'm not going to sit down and make a real scrapbook, so this is it.
I have had to give myself a break. I'm not saying I never feel like a failure. During the last several days, both girls are refusing to nap. It is beyond frustrating! I feel like I have tried everything, and still nothing works. Big, epic mom fail. I keep trying to remind myself that this is just a season and one day, I will really miss this time. I need to be present in the here and now, and not take it for granted. My house will all be clean at the same time someday. It is probably a long ways away, but I'd rather be on the floor playing with my babies than cleaning the bathroom. Needless to say, come to my house at your own risk! If clutter and sticky floors bother you, you might feel compelled to clean while you're here. By all means, be my guest!
All that to say, I'm hoping to be able to start blogging regularly again, but no promises. I will not be burdened by it, but I will be motivated to do it.
But, life happened.
I had an almost two year old at the time, who we were about to start potty training because I was pregnant with our second baby, due in October, and I desperately didn't want two children in diapers at the same time.
Going from one to two kids has been difficult, to say the least. This last year has been hard for me. Really hard. I have had a year of understanding perspective, adjusting my expectations of myself, and of my children.
I chose to attempt natural childbirth with Evelyn, which took a lot of research, reading, and practicing. And then, when shove came to pushing, I had to accept the reality that it would be impossible to do. My baby was born by emergency c-section. I panicked when my doctor told me this would be the case, and afterwards, I was sad, depressed, and in a lot of pain. I questioned my ability to birth my children on my own. I entered motherhood for the second time in a deep hole of self-doubt. If I can't naturally birth my children, how can I be the mommy I always thought I would be? Things weren't as simple as I had idealized them.
But my friends and family complimented me in my ability to mother. My friends, especially. I don't know how you do it, Beth. You are a great mom. Inside, I was screaming, But, I'm not! I'm impatient, selfish, and tired! I do not love every minute of being with my kids. Most days, I wallow in my self pity. Most days, I feel like I barely make it. My house is always a disaster. I just want to be left alone, in my bed. I was lonely. I was depressed. And I felt like if I told my friends those thoughts, they would think I was a whiner. I got frustrated because I didn't want to give a false impression of myself. I wanted them to know that I'm not perfect, it's not easy, and I was really struggling. But I also wanted to be an encouragement to my friends, as much as I could be.
I realized that the more books and blogs I read about parenting and mothering, the worse I felt about myself. I went to a parenting class for about 12 weeks and Evelyn was born halfway through it, so I had her with me for the last few weeks. The class talked a lot about the importance of a schedule, having order in your house, and making your relationship with your husband the priority. These were all things I knew and had done with my firstborn, Avery. No problem. Avery was a "textbook baby." She adjusted to changes in her schedule within a couple of days. Reaching milestones never affected her sleep patterns. She slept 12 hours at night and took decent length naps, and was a very happy baby. I also started reading a blog that talked about the same philosophy as the parenting class. The blogger posts weekly updates on her baby, and had them labeled so I could reference the age that Evelyn was at. The blogger's baby would sleep 12-13 hours at night and sleep 4-6 hours during the day, even at 6 months old. Every week when I would read it, I felt stupid. My baby wasn't like that. What was I doing wrong this time? Evelyn did not get on a nap schedule until 9 months old, and it wasn't for lack of trying, on my part. The child would not sleep during the day. I was at a loss. I wasn't getting any time to myself, even fifteen minutes. I was a failure. I was trapped.
I also had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months, when I had gone until 14 months with Avery. Obviously, it was the best decision for Evelyn, as she wasn't growing enough, and was feeding more than ever. This time was just dramatically different than it was the first time. I felt like a failure again. I wasn't accepting myself. I wasn't accepting that my very best was enough.
Just in the last couple of months (Evelyn will be 11 months tomorrow), I have realized that everyone else's idea of "successful parenting" shouldn't matter to me. If my children are happy, well-mannered, and learning that Jesus loves them more than anything, then in my book, I am doing a good job as a mother. All parts of parenting have to work for each individual family. I am not saying that if it's too hard for you to say "no" to your child, then don't do it. Saying "no" to your child has to happen in every family, but the way it is done will vary.
I hesitate to give advice to any parent friend, even when they ask me for it. If I tell my friend who has children how we discipline our children, and then it doesn't work for their family, I don't want them to think, Well, we failed at doing it the way the Bruces do it. Stephen's and my standard of doing things for our household is what is right for us, but it's not for everyone. I've also discovered that we may do things one way for a while and then it starts to not work anymore, and we have to find a new, effective way of doing it. I have had to realize that this is probably normal. If I hold onto the thought, We have always done it this way, why isn't it working anymore?, then I try to force something that just is not working, all while wasting a couple of months, clinging onto what I've always known. It's silly.
Finally, my inability to blog during the last year plagued me. I admire the moms who somehow find a way to write on their blog several times a week. I seriously do not know how they do it, especially those who have young babies, who need their attention pretty much every minute of the day. I have had to let it go. For me, if I tried to put that much energy into anything other than my girls, I felt like a failure at everything. Blogging just isn't that important to me. However, I do want to document the girls' childhoods as much as I can, so I will figure out a way to do it. When I started this blog, Stephen and I were newly married, and I wasn't working. I knew we would be moving to a different country, so my motive with the blog was to keep our families and friends up to date with what was happening with us. When we moved back to the States, my motive to blog became a scrapbook for me and my family. Anyone who wants to read about it is welcome, but I'm not going to sit down and make a real scrapbook, so this is it.
I have had to give myself a break. I'm not saying I never feel like a failure. During the last several days, both girls are refusing to nap. It is beyond frustrating! I feel like I have tried everything, and still nothing works. Big, epic mom fail. I keep trying to remind myself that this is just a season and one day, I will really miss this time. I need to be present in the here and now, and not take it for granted. My house will all be clean at the same time someday. It is probably a long ways away, but I'd rather be on the floor playing with my babies than cleaning the bathroom. Needless to say, come to my house at your own risk! If clutter and sticky floors bother you, you might feel compelled to clean while you're here. By all means, be my guest!
All that to say, I'm hoping to be able to start blogging regularly again, but no promises. I will not be burdened by it, but I will be motivated to do it.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hmmmm....
This morning, I have nothing to write about. Nothing. I've been racking my brain, trying to think of something clever to say. Maybe it's because I haven't finished my cup of coffee yet.
It's a morning of beverages. I've already had 16 ounces of water that I chugged down while doing the 30 Day Shred. Day One - check! I really need to get in shape, and my motivator is our spring vacation down to my grandparents' in Florida. Since I've birthed a child, I'm being realistic. Bikinis were rarely in my wardrobe pre-children, so I don't expect them to be now, but I would like to look decent in a one-piece, or dare I say, a tankini?
It's going to take a lot of work. Before Christmas, I was a mere 3 pounds from my pre-baby weight. Post-Christmas, I still don't want to know! I feel like I gained about 10 pounds over Christmas ~ no lie. I suppose later today, I'll force myself to step on the scale and get an idea of what we're dealing with, here.
After working out, Avery was already awake in her crib. It was 7:00. Usually, she'll sleep until around 7:45. It seems that she wakes up early when I get up at 6:00 and I have about 10 things I want to get done before she wakes up! She sounded happy, so I left her in there with her noises of "Uh-oh!" and "Noooooo" and "Eh-yo!" (That's hello.) Then, she was quiet all of a sudden and the angels sang. I made my half a pot of coffee and some Immuni-C to sip on.
That's 3 different beverages sitting around me. I like beverages. And my new favorite cup to drink out of is a red Solo cup. We have a stack of 3 of them still sitting on our kitchen table from our New Year's Eve party. (Note to self: clear off kitchen table today.)
I have been waking up super congested the past few mornings. I asked Huzz last night if I have been snoring and he responded with an emphatic, "YES." So, I put on a Breathe Right strip and hoped that would help. I woke up congestion-free this morning, and I asked him if the snoring was better and he responded with an emphatic, "NO." Sorry, Huzz!
I feel like there could be a few possible reasons for my recent snoring. And I will give them to you in list form.
1. We need a humidifier in our bedroom. Badly. Avery has one in her bedroom and whenever I go in there, I breathe deeply and enjoy the humidity. Colorado is so dry!
2. I need to lose this weight. Badly. Nuff said.
3. I think I'm fighting off a little cold.
4. I feel like I need to come up with reasons why I'm snoring, ignoring the fact that I probably snore more than I'd like to admit (heck, no one likes to admit they snore) and I want to come across as dainty and a quiet sleeper, when the reality is that I'm just not. My dad is a snorer, but he got a C-PAP (?) machine, which takes care of the snoring, if he doesn't take it off while he's sleeping. Bless my mom - she spent a few years enduring the crazy snoring and eventually moving into the guest bedroom to get a good night's rest. Let's hope that by remedying a few of these reasons, I don't snore anymore and won't need a C-PAP machine!
I can't believe I'm talking about snoring.
Moving on. Things to do today: unload dishwasher, do about 5 loads of laundry, mop all the floors because a little piece of me dies every time I pick Avery up and her hands are covered in dog hair and dirt. I just vacuumed yesterday! Hopefully the mopping will help.
The beverages have all been consumed and I'm ready to go!
It's a morning of beverages. I've already had 16 ounces of water that I chugged down while doing the 30 Day Shred. Day One - check! I really need to get in shape, and my motivator is our spring vacation down to my grandparents' in Florida. Since I've birthed a child, I'm being realistic. Bikinis were rarely in my wardrobe pre-children, so I don't expect them to be now, but I would like to look decent in a one-piece, or dare I say, a tankini?
It's going to take a lot of work. Before Christmas, I was a mere 3 pounds from my pre-baby weight. Post-Christmas, I still don't want to know! I feel like I gained about 10 pounds over Christmas ~ no lie. I suppose later today, I'll force myself to step on the scale and get an idea of what we're dealing with, here.
After working out, Avery was already awake in her crib. It was 7:00. Usually, she'll sleep until around 7:45. It seems that she wakes up early when I get up at 6:00 and I have about 10 things I want to get done before she wakes up! She sounded happy, so I left her in there with her noises of "Uh-oh!" and "Noooooo" and "Eh-yo!" (That's hello.) Then, she was quiet all of a sudden and the angels sang. I made my half a pot of coffee and some Immuni-C to sip on.
That's 3 different beverages sitting around me. I like beverages. And my new favorite cup to drink out of is a red Solo cup. We have a stack of 3 of them still sitting on our kitchen table from our New Year's Eve party. (Note to self: clear off kitchen table today.)
I have been waking up super congested the past few mornings. I asked Huzz last night if I have been snoring and he responded with an emphatic, "YES." So, I put on a Breathe Right strip and hoped that would help. I woke up congestion-free this morning, and I asked him if the snoring was better and he responded with an emphatic, "NO." Sorry, Huzz!
I feel like there could be a few possible reasons for my recent snoring. And I will give them to you in list form.
1. We need a humidifier in our bedroom. Badly. Avery has one in her bedroom and whenever I go in there, I breathe deeply and enjoy the humidity. Colorado is so dry!
2. I need to lose this weight. Badly. Nuff said.
3. I think I'm fighting off a little cold.
4. I feel like I need to come up with reasons why I'm snoring, ignoring the fact that I probably snore more than I'd like to admit (heck, no one likes to admit they snore) and I want to come across as dainty and a quiet sleeper, when the reality is that I'm just not. My dad is a snorer, but he got a C-PAP (?) machine, which takes care of the snoring, if he doesn't take it off while he's sleeping. Bless my mom - she spent a few years enduring the crazy snoring and eventually moving into the guest bedroom to get a good night's rest. Let's hope that by remedying a few of these reasons, I don't snore anymore and won't need a C-PAP machine!
I can't believe I'm talking about snoring.
Moving on. Things to do today: unload dishwasher, do about 5 loads of laundry, mop all the floors because a little piece of me dies every time I pick Avery up and her hands are covered in dog hair and dirt. I just vacuumed yesterday! Hopefully the mopping will help.
The beverages have all been consumed and I'm ready to go!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Why I Do What I Do...
I have been doing some thinking lately.
Like, deep thinking. I know. Risky business.
But seriously, I have been thinking about why I do what I do. I know to some people, I'm just a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). And I know to some people, that is seen as a luxury. And I know that some people can get very jealous that I stay home with our child.
Something that I am learning in my adult life is that the way some people feel about me or perceive me is completely out of my control. All I can do is be who I am. Please allow me to explain.
The thing that got me thinking about all of this recently is the concept of making Avery's baby food. I decided that anything made fresh is definitely more healthy for you. That's why most nights, I make dinner for Stephen and I. While it'd be more convenient to throw a frozen pizza in the oven or crack open a jar of spaghetti sauce, I just rarely do. We rarely order food in, and we go out to eat maybe once a week. I'm not a health freak, but we try to lead a reasonably healthy lifestyle.
I want the same for our children. It is more convenient to open jars of baby food for every feeding. And I'm not going to say that Avery will never experience a jar of baby food because it is more convenient, it just might happen when I'm in a pinch. However, it will not be a daily occurrence for her. This is a choice we have made.
Not only is the homemade food better for her, it is incredibly cheaper. We have bought all of her organic veggies at Costco -- huge bags (5-10 lbs.) that are about $5-7.00 a bag. And I have 6 gallon size ziploc bags in our deep freeze, packed full of ice cube vegetables. I figure it's more than enough to last until Avery is eating finger foods. And I've only made 3 veggies and 2 fruits! Plus, we still have half of the bags of veggies left for Stephen and I to eat. I noticed at Target that the organic baby food is over a dollar a 4 ounce jar. The same stuff is about 68 cents a jar at Costco. I am guessing that 4 of the 1 ounce cubes I made cost about 12 cents to make, if that.
So, it's healthier, and it's cheaper. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, analyzing why we've decided to go the homemade food route has made me think about my job as a SAHM, too. Why am I doing this?
Well, I'll be honest. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. When I went into teaching, a big reason why I decided to was because it tends to be a little more manageable when you have kids...similar hours, vacations, etc. However, I had no idea who I would be marrying and if it would be possible for me to be a SAHM.
When Stephen and I went through our pre-marital counseling (this was so incredibly important to us), how we would raise our children was a topic that we discussed. Stephen and I both grew up in homes where our moms stayed home, for the most part. It's what we know and what we liked. We decided that I would most likely stay home with our kids, but that we'd re-evaluate when the time came. It was nice to have the peace of mind that we were on the same page with such a big issue.
When we found out I was pregnant when we were still living in the big K, everything seemed to fall into place, leading to me staying home when the baby came.
This had nothing to do with finances. It would be so much easier, financially, if I was working right now. We are making so many sacrifices in our life right now because we are on such a strict budget. There is coupon-clipping, shopping the weekly ads, meal planning, not shopping for pleasure, and constantly asking ourselves, "Do we really need that?"
This has been harder for me, I think, than it is for Stephen. He is simple and easy. I have to discreetly throw away anything that belongs to him because he'll wear t-shirts, boxers, and socks way past what I would consider acceptable condition. The guy still has all of his fraternity t-shirts and wears them frequently around the house. They are threadbare and holey, but he says they serve their purpose. Ha! I love him so much.
When we came back to the US last summer, the job market was (and is) just horrible, especially for Stephen's line of work. So, we decided to take a risk and start our own business. It is financially risky for us, since we'll be living off our savings until we start to make money, but he is doing what he has always wanted to do. And he's happy. That is worth so much more than a semi-dependable salary from an employer.
We also knew that because we were starting this business, and I wasn't working a paid job, we would do our part of being responsible with our finances, but also we were going to rely on God to provide for all of our needs.
And boy, has He. We have been under budget every month for the last nine months.
I'm not going to lie. It kinda sucks. Watching every penny that we spend and not getting to buy that cute outfit for Avery that she doesn't really need is hard work! Being a SAHM is not a luxury. It is a choice. It takes a lot of self-control and perseverance. I'll tell you what my motivation is.
This face:
Whether it's me staying home, or if it turned out that it made sense for Stephen to take care of her and me to work, we've made our choice. We want to be the ones that watch all of her firsts. We want to teach her our family values and beliefs. We want to watch her grow and change every day.
This is the path we have chosen.
That's the beauty of all of this. We all have choices to make when we become parents. Where do we live, who do we spend our time with, what do we do for fun, who takes care of the child? Just because we have made the choices that we have doesn't mean that everyone else needs to make the same choices. Every family needs to make the choices that work and make the most sense for them. Every family is different, so different choices will be made.
This is what works for us.
I'm more tired than I ever was teaching, and I don't get a paycheck, but it's sooooo worth it!
I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes with this. The intent of course, is not to offend. Like I said, we all make the choices that are right for us. :) It's actually only meant to encourage you to think about the choices you've made for your life. Are they right for you?
Like, deep thinking. I know. Risky business.
But seriously, I have been thinking about why I do what I do. I know to some people, I'm just a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). And I know to some people, that is seen as a luxury. And I know that some people can get very jealous that I stay home with our child.
Something that I am learning in my adult life is that the way some people feel about me or perceive me is completely out of my control. All I can do is be who I am. Please allow me to explain.
The thing that got me thinking about all of this recently is the concept of making Avery's baby food. I decided that anything made fresh is definitely more healthy for you. That's why most nights, I make dinner for Stephen and I. While it'd be more convenient to throw a frozen pizza in the oven or crack open a jar of spaghetti sauce, I just rarely do. We rarely order food in, and we go out to eat maybe once a week. I'm not a health freak, but we try to lead a reasonably healthy lifestyle.
I want the same for our children. It is more convenient to open jars of baby food for every feeding. And I'm not going to say that Avery will never experience a jar of baby food because it is more convenient, it just might happen when I'm in a pinch. However, it will not be a daily occurrence for her. This is a choice we have made.
Not only is the homemade food better for her, it is incredibly cheaper. We have bought all of her organic veggies at Costco -- huge bags (5-10 lbs.) that are about $5-7.00 a bag. And I have 6 gallon size ziploc bags in our deep freeze, packed full of ice cube vegetables. I figure it's more than enough to last until Avery is eating finger foods. And I've only made 3 veggies and 2 fruits! Plus, we still have half of the bags of veggies left for Stephen and I to eat. I noticed at Target that the organic baby food is over a dollar a 4 ounce jar. The same stuff is about 68 cents a jar at Costco. I am guessing that 4 of the 1 ounce cubes I made cost about 12 cents to make, if that.
So, it's healthier, and it's cheaper. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, analyzing why we've decided to go the homemade food route has made me think about my job as a SAHM, too. Why am I doing this?
Well, I'll be honest. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. When I went into teaching, a big reason why I decided to was because it tends to be a little more manageable when you have kids...similar hours, vacations, etc. However, I had no idea who I would be marrying and if it would be possible for me to be a SAHM.
When Stephen and I went through our pre-marital counseling (this was so incredibly important to us), how we would raise our children was a topic that we discussed. Stephen and I both grew up in homes where our moms stayed home, for the most part. It's what we know and what we liked. We decided that I would most likely stay home with our kids, but that we'd re-evaluate when the time came. It was nice to have the peace of mind that we were on the same page with such a big issue.
When we found out I was pregnant when we were still living in the big K, everything seemed to fall into place, leading to me staying home when the baby came.
This had nothing to do with finances. It would be so much easier, financially, if I was working right now. We are making so many sacrifices in our life right now because we are on such a strict budget. There is coupon-clipping, shopping the weekly ads, meal planning, not shopping for pleasure, and constantly asking ourselves, "Do we really need that?"
This has been harder for me, I think, than it is for Stephen. He is simple and easy. I have to discreetly throw away anything that belongs to him because he'll wear t-shirts, boxers, and socks way past what I would consider acceptable condition. The guy still has all of his fraternity t-shirts and wears them frequently around the house. They are threadbare and holey, but he says they serve their purpose. Ha! I love him so much.
When we came back to the US last summer, the job market was (and is) just horrible, especially for Stephen's line of work. So, we decided to take a risk and start our own business. It is financially risky for us, since we'll be living off our savings until we start to make money, but he is doing what he has always wanted to do. And he's happy. That is worth so much more than a semi-dependable salary from an employer.
We also knew that because we were starting this business, and I wasn't working a paid job, we would do our part of being responsible with our finances, but also we were going to rely on God to provide for all of our needs.
And boy, has He. We have been under budget every month for the last nine months.
I'm not going to lie. It kinda sucks. Watching every penny that we spend and not getting to buy that cute outfit for Avery that she doesn't really need is hard work! Being a SAHM is not a luxury. It is a choice. It takes a lot of self-control and perseverance. I'll tell you what my motivation is.
This face:
Whether it's me staying home, or if it turned out that it made sense for Stephen to take care of her and me to work, we've made our choice. We want to be the ones that watch all of her firsts. We want to teach her our family values and beliefs. We want to watch her grow and change every day.
This is the path we have chosen.
That's the beauty of all of this. We all have choices to make when we become parents. Where do we live, who do we spend our time with, what do we do for fun, who takes care of the child? Just because we have made the choices that we have doesn't mean that everyone else needs to make the same choices. Every family needs to make the choices that work and make the most sense for them. Every family is different, so different choices will be made.
This is what works for us.
I'm more tired than I ever was teaching, and I don't get a paycheck, but it's sooooo worth it!
I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes with this. The intent of course, is not to offend. Like I said, we all make the choices that are right for us. :) It's actually only meant to encourage you to think about the choices you've made for your life. Are they right for you?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
You're Welcome...
This is actually how I fold my fitted sheets and I learned a long time ago, but I came across this video today that I thought I'd share.
Go to Annie Blog and learn something for today!
Go to Annie Blog and learn something for today!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Rude Kids...
I read this BreakPoint from Charles Colson today. As a teacher and witnessing these kinds of kids every work day for the last 6 years, I don't think Mr. Colson could have said it better.
Rude Kids The Fruits of Overdeveloped Self-Esteem
May 21, 2009
A recent report on MSNBC suggested that parents’ pre-occupation with their kids’ self-esteem may have produced “rude” children who lack compassion for others.
According to MSNBC, “many experts say today’s kids are ruder than ever.” The word “rude” encompasses a variety of behaviors, from selfishness to deliberate malice. In one example, a pre-schooler deliberately tripped a woman in a crowded restaurant and then bragged to her mother about it. In another, a child continuously insults his mother in front of his mortified grandmother.
In both cases, the parent neither says nor does anything.
Apparently, these aren’t isolated instances: a 2005 Yale University study found that “preschool students are expelled at a rate more than three times that of children in grades K-12 because of behavioral problems.”
It isn’t only preschoolers. The media has documented the behavior in the workplace of those born between 1980 and 1996. Words used to describe the behavior of the so-called “Generation Y” include “self-centered” and “arrogant.” As one management professor put it, “They don’t know when to shut up.” And having grown up questioning their parents, they now question their bosses.
Whether or not today’s kids are actually “ruder than ever,” the article and others like it reflect the sense that something has gone wrong in the way we raise our children. Specifically, it has to do with “popular parenting movements focusing on self-esteem.”
These movements produce parents who “[respond] with hostility to anyone they perceive as getting in the child’s way.” By “getting in the child’s way,” they mean doing anything that might make the child feel less-than-wonderful about him or herself—in the classroom, among their peers, or on the playing field.
So today we have a generation of children who believe that the world revolves around them and that they are entitled to feel good about themselves.
Expecting children raised this way to be compassionate or even polite betrays a profound ignorance of human nature—the same ignorance that led to the “popular parenting movements” that created the mess in the first place.
These movements were inspired by the ideas of Romantic Enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau. According to Rousseau, “There is no original perversity in the human heart.” So, he says, “when children’s wills are not spoiled by our fault, children [desire] nothing uselessly.” So parents and teachers should strive to produce children who are “authentic, self-sufficient, and autonomous.”
According to E.D. Hirsch, this Romantic ideal that “each person has a natural and uniquely divine spark, which, if nurtured, cannot go wrong,” is behind the emphasis on self-esteem. The problem, as Hirsch points out, is that there is no proven connection between high self-esteem and actual achievement.
In other words, feeling good about yourself isn’t enough to make you good. You have to be taught right from wrong and made to feel bad when you deserve it. As the Scripture says, true parental devotion includes the willingness to correct our children.
The alternative isn’t “authenticity”—it’s spoiling their wills in the worst possible way.
Rude Kids The Fruits of Overdeveloped Self-Esteem
May 21, 2009
A recent report on MSNBC suggested that parents’ pre-occupation with their kids’ self-esteem may have produced “rude” children who lack compassion for others.
According to MSNBC, “many experts say today’s kids are ruder than ever.” The word “rude” encompasses a variety of behaviors, from selfishness to deliberate malice. In one example, a pre-schooler deliberately tripped a woman in a crowded restaurant and then bragged to her mother about it. In another, a child continuously insults his mother in front of his mortified grandmother.
In both cases, the parent neither says nor does anything.
Apparently, these aren’t isolated instances: a 2005 Yale University study found that “preschool students are expelled at a rate more than three times that of children in grades K-12 because of behavioral problems.”
It isn’t only preschoolers. The media has documented the behavior in the workplace of those born between 1980 and 1996. Words used to describe the behavior of the so-called “Generation Y” include “self-centered” and “arrogant.” As one management professor put it, “They don’t know when to shut up.” And having grown up questioning their parents, they now question their bosses.
Whether or not today’s kids are actually “ruder than ever,” the article and others like it reflect the sense that something has gone wrong in the way we raise our children. Specifically, it has to do with “popular parenting movements focusing on self-esteem.”
These movements produce parents who “[respond] with hostility to anyone they perceive as getting in the child’s way.” By “getting in the child’s way,” they mean doing anything that might make the child feel less-than-wonderful about him or herself—in the classroom, among their peers, or on the playing field.
So today we have a generation of children who believe that the world revolves around them and that they are entitled to feel good about themselves.
Expecting children raised this way to be compassionate or even polite betrays a profound ignorance of human nature—the same ignorance that led to the “popular parenting movements” that created the mess in the first place.
These movements were inspired by the ideas of Romantic Enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau. According to Rousseau, “There is no original perversity in the human heart.” So, he says, “when children’s wills are not spoiled by our fault, children [desire] nothing uselessly.” So parents and teachers should strive to produce children who are “authentic, self-sufficient, and autonomous.”
According to E.D. Hirsch, this Romantic ideal that “each person has a natural and uniquely divine spark, which, if nurtured, cannot go wrong,” is behind the emphasis on self-esteem. The problem, as Hirsch points out, is that there is no proven connection between high self-esteem and actual achievement.
In other words, feeling good about yourself isn’t enough to make you good. You have to be taught right from wrong and made to feel bad when you deserve it. As the Scripture says, true parental devotion includes the willingness to correct our children.
The alternative isn’t “authenticity”—it’s spoiling their wills in the worst possible way.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
So Much to Do...
I am extremely grateful because I don't have to work on Friday or Monday, so four day weekend, here I come!
However, the time is packed, my friends.
The teachers got paid yesterday, so we all make the obligatory trip to the bank to get some cash today. Every month when I get paid, we need to go in and take out enough cash to pay our rent and our driver. Today will be the last time we withdraw money for our driver. We are firing him and here is why:
However, the time is packed, my friends.
The teachers got paid yesterday, so we all make the obligatory trip to the bank to get some cash today. Every month when I get paid, we need to go in and take out enough cash to pay our rent and our driver. Today will be the last time we withdraw money for our driver. We are firing him and here is why:
- It's a lot of money and we don't use him enough to justify keeping him. It was great when Huzz was going to work everyday, too, but he's not. It seems quite extravagant, especially when times are tough.
- He has become increasingly lazier during the last few months. You would think that since he's hardly working for us that when he does, he would be on top of his game. But he's not. When he takes us somewhere, he leaves until we call him to come back and get us. This would be all well and good if he was within 5 minutes away, but it's not uncommon for him to be 15-20 minutes, so we are left standing outside, waiting for him.
- His driving makes me sick. Literally. I seem to get carsick every time I ride with him now. I know that my condition is the main reason for this, but seriously, his driving is erratic, at best. He slams on the brakes and takes turns really fast and cuts people off. Not only am I sick by the time I get to our destination, but I'm also exhausted from all of the intense big P's I'm sending up the whole time.
- Speaking of slamming on the brakes, his brakes have been rubbing raw and squealing (I've never heard brakes squeak this loudly before) for over 6 weeks now and he hasn't gotten them fixed. A little bit of a safety concern, there.
- Secret reason: I am hoping that with the money we'll save from 2 months of not paying the driver, we could maybe go someplace during the last two weeks we're here, just for a few days. However, I know Huzz is probably just thinking, "Look at all the money we'll save!"
So, once we get the money, Huzz is going to let him go. We have arranged to have one of our friends nearby just in case Mr. Driver has a raging fit. He has exhibited some anger issues in our presence before, so we are taking precautions.
Anyway, tonight, Matthew and Sonia have invited the group over for shepherd's pie and apple crumble. Yes, please!
Tomorrow, we are going to the store to get all items needed for the Italian feast I will be making for 3 other couples on Saturday night.
And on Saturday morning, I am going to put all my trust in Him and get my bloodwork done for my pregnancy. I'm nervous because:
- I don't speak Russian
- They do things very differently here in the medical world than they do back home.
Sorry about the lists today. I like them.
So, Saturday night, there will be dinner for 8 at our apartment. I've helped my mom countless times with dinner parties, but I've never done one myself for more than 4 people.
No dishwasher = really fun times after everyone has left!
Probably church on Sunday morning. If not, it is because we'll be going to see Big Almaty Lake with our friends. We're trying to organize a trip there, but don't know which day it will be yet.
Anyway, an event-packed weekend! What are you all up to this weekend?
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Weekend Top 10...
1. Enjoyed apple crumble with some of our friends at Matt & Sonia's. And I got to hold baby Billie.
2. In bed by 11:30 on Friday night and slept until 9:00 on Saturday morning.
3. Went to Koktobe (essentially a hill that overlooks the city) and had some chicken shashlik (kebab) and enjoyed the beautiful weather.
4. Got on the tramway to go up to Koktobe and then immediately off, due to a power outage. I am extremely thankful the power went off before we found ourselves halfway across, stuck 100 feet in the air.
5. Rode the tramway back down from Koktobe to the city center and sent up some serious big P's the whole way.
6. Made pancakes and a cheese omelette for Sunday lunch and split a grapefruit with Huzz. Delicious.
7. Took a four hour nap after said lunch.
8. Needed the four hour nap because Huzz and I stayed up until 3:30 am on Saturday night, talking about how we are going to go about firing our driver. We are slightly stressed out about it.
9. Spent the final two hours on Sunday night, dreading work the next morning.
10. Watched a peacock do his mating dance at Koktobe. Did you know they vibrate their feathers? The female ran away, clearly disturbed. I would have been, too.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
There are some things we're not meant to see again...
On Wednesday, around noon, I started to feel funky.
I went to lunch at 12:30 and managed to eat a little bowl of pasta with marinara sauce and headed back to my classroom. I laid my head on my desk and slept for a few minutes.
At about 2:00, I ran to the restroom and saw my pasta again.
At 3:00, I saw it again.
At 4:30, it made a third appearance. And at this point, I was confused. I hadn't eaten that much! That is when I stopped by my teaching leader's room and told her I wouldn't be at work on Thursday.
I got home around 5:30 and hoped I was done being sick. When things come up out of my body, I feel very sorry for myself. I cry. I had been strong until this point, since I had been at the school.
When Huzz walked in the door, home from English club, I cried. After I assured him I was okay, he went to go play basketball for a couple of hours and I stayed home. I thought there was nothing left in my stomach.
At 7:30, I proved that theory wrong. Huzz got home at 8:20. I laid motionless on the couch for a couple of hours and decided the best thing to do would be to go to bed.
I laid down in bed, Huzz covered me with the blanket and I immediately sat up and grabbed the bowl. Wonderful Huzz stayed next to me and rubbed my back while I heaved uncontrollably for several minutes. When all was over and my head was sweaty, I cried again. Woe was me.
I fell over and went to sleep and woke up suddenly at about 1:45 am and did it all over again. It looks like that was the final kicker, thank goodness.
I thought I was going to die. I was still feeling a little off last night, so I called in sick again for Friday. I think I'm back to normal now, but it's good I'm playing it safe. I am officially on spring break now! Two weeks of bliss. 4 more days until we leave for Istanbul!
Time to start packing!
I went to lunch at 12:30 and managed to eat a little bowl of pasta with marinara sauce and headed back to my classroom. I laid my head on my desk and slept for a few minutes.
At about 2:00, I ran to the restroom and saw my pasta again.
At 3:00, I saw it again.
At 4:30, it made a third appearance. And at this point, I was confused. I hadn't eaten that much! That is when I stopped by my teaching leader's room and told her I wouldn't be at work on Thursday.
I got home around 5:30 and hoped I was done being sick. When things come up out of my body, I feel very sorry for myself. I cry. I had been strong until this point, since I had been at the school.
When Huzz walked in the door, home from English club, I cried. After I assured him I was okay, he went to go play basketball for a couple of hours and I stayed home. I thought there was nothing left in my stomach.
At 7:30, I proved that theory wrong. Huzz got home at 8:20. I laid motionless on the couch for a couple of hours and decided the best thing to do would be to go to bed.
I laid down in bed, Huzz covered me with the blanket and I immediately sat up and grabbed the bowl. Wonderful Huzz stayed next to me and rubbed my back while I heaved uncontrollably for several minutes. When all was over and my head was sweaty, I cried again. Woe was me.
I fell over and went to sleep and woke up suddenly at about 1:45 am and did it all over again. It looks like that was the final kicker, thank goodness.
I thought I was going to die. I was still feeling a little off last night, so I called in sick again for Friday. I think I'm back to normal now, but it's good I'm playing it safe. I am officially on spring break now! Two weeks of bliss. 4 more days until we leave for Istanbul!
Time to start packing!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Jessie Questions...
Which of the many places to eat you mentioned in your blog is your favorite, and why? Will you be bringing home any recipes with you? How is the weather different there? Are there any friendly natives there, or are all the friends you've made from other countries? What will you miss (if anything) when you come back home? - Jessie
My favorite place to eat here.... Well, the choices are very few, but I'm so glad we have been able to find a couple of places to go when you just need a meal out. My ultimate favorite would have to be the Italian place, Borgo Antico, but we don't go there too often because it's way overpriced. However, it is delicious, so when we go, it's money well-spent. The more reasonable-priced Italian place is Pomodoro, which is also so yummy, but not as fancy. The chef is Italian and is so nice. His bean and tuna salad is amazing. That is something I will be trying to recreate back in the US.
As far as recipes to bring home? Not really. I would like to know how to make the Uzbek dish, Lagmon, but I've only had it in restaurants, so I haven't had anyone's homemade version yet. If I do, I'll ask for it. But something tells me, I wouldn't get it from them! I should research and see if I can find a recipe online. The one thing that would probably be difficult to find in the US for the dish is the noodles. You can get them here in the frozen section for very cheap.
The weather: Well, we were told the winter was going to be absolutely horrendous: 6 foot high walls of snow around the city, -30 degree weather for weeks on end, just miserable.
It turns out, we caught the big K during an uncharacteristically warm winter. It really has been a lot like Colorado, minus the ability to have temperatures that rise 40 degrees in one day. We've had a few nice snowfalls of several inches, and the winter temps have been in the 20's-30's. There have been a few days in the teens, but nothing shockingly cold. Spring is definitely arriving now and it's beautiful! It's been rainy this week and should continue to be through the weekend, but I don't mind. By the time we leave at the end of June, it should be pretty warm, around the low 90's. Last July and August, there were several weeks of above 100 days. It was hot, but a dry hot, so still not horrible.
I kind of answered the one about the local vs. ex-pat friends before.
What will I miss when we come back home? I will definitely miss the people we have met. We have made friends with other teachers, people from church, and we knew our friends, Matt & Jonna would be here when we got here. Maybe we'll be able to come back and visit someday and see those people, if they're still here. This place is constantly changing ~ so many people coming and going, even locals will leave the country to go to school. Ex-pats typically stay for maybe a few years and then move on to another assignment. Even if we did stay for the three years that we originally planned, we would probably have to say good-bye to a lot of the people we know now, anyway.
Thankfully, it is not too difficult to stay in touch these days!
Good questions, Jessie!
Last night, I was exhausted after work, so we stayed home and I made chicken bake. Which reminds me, I'm going to tell you how to make that, but I left my camera with a picture of it on the dining room table, so it'll have to wait. Chicken bake is one of the best comfort foods, ever, so I hope you'll try it and love it.
My favorite place to eat here.... Well, the choices are very few, but I'm so glad we have been able to find a couple of places to go when you just need a meal out. My ultimate favorite would have to be the Italian place, Borgo Antico, but we don't go there too often because it's way overpriced. However, it is delicious, so when we go, it's money well-spent. The more reasonable-priced Italian place is Pomodoro, which is also so yummy, but not as fancy. The chef is Italian and is so nice. His bean and tuna salad is amazing. That is something I will be trying to recreate back in the US.
As far as recipes to bring home? Not really. I would like to know how to make the Uzbek dish, Lagmon, but I've only had it in restaurants, so I haven't had anyone's homemade version yet. If I do, I'll ask for it. But something tells me, I wouldn't get it from them! I should research and see if I can find a recipe online. The one thing that would probably be difficult to find in the US for the dish is the noodles. You can get them here in the frozen section for very cheap.
The weather: Well, we were told the winter was going to be absolutely horrendous: 6 foot high walls of snow around the city, -30 degree weather for weeks on end, just miserable.
It turns out, we caught the big K during an uncharacteristically warm winter. It really has been a lot like Colorado, minus the ability to have temperatures that rise 40 degrees in one day. We've had a few nice snowfalls of several inches, and the winter temps have been in the 20's-30's. There have been a few days in the teens, but nothing shockingly cold. Spring is definitely arriving now and it's beautiful! It's been rainy this week and should continue to be through the weekend, but I don't mind. By the time we leave at the end of June, it should be pretty warm, around the low 90's. Last July and August, there were several weeks of above 100 days. It was hot, but a dry hot, so still not horrible.
I kind of answered the one about the local vs. ex-pat friends before.
What will I miss when we come back home? I will definitely miss the people we have met. We have made friends with other teachers, people from church, and we knew our friends, Matt & Jonna would be here when we got here. Maybe we'll be able to come back and visit someday and see those people, if they're still here. This place is constantly changing ~ so many people coming and going, even locals will leave the country to go to school. Ex-pats typically stay for maybe a few years and then move on to another assignment. Even if we did stay for the three years that we originally planned, we would probably have to say good-bye to a lot of the people we know now, anyway.
Thankfully, it is not too difficult to stay in touch these days!
Good questions, Jessie!
Last night, I was exhausted after work, so we stayed home and I made chicken bake. Which reminds me, I'm going to tell you how to make that, but I left my camera with a picture of it on the dining room table, so it'll have to wait. Chicken bake is one of the best comfort foods, ever, so I hope you'll try it and love it.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Red Means Cold...
As I have mentioned before, we really like our new apartment. It's homey, it's comfortable, and it's a little quirky.
We have had some issues with the plumbing since we moved in. Nothing too major, but remember the incident with the police, and that whenever we shower, our floor collects considerably large puddles? Also, our kitchen sink faucet was bordering on inoperable. I kept telling Huzz that one day when I'm doing dishes, the handle was going to bust off and slightly cloudy big K water would be spraying everywhere.
Well, since Huzz spends the majority of his time working from home now, he has the time to be available for such things to get fixed. We decided to keep the shower situation on the down low, as we still aren't too keen on having our bathroom ripped apart while we are living here. Because in the big K, a job is rarely actually finished.
Our lovely Landlord, who speaks no English brought a plumber with him, who also spoke fluent Russian only, and they decided that instead of fixing the kitchen faucet, that they would actually replace it. I am still shocked about this! I was fully expecting them to fix the faucet, which would work fine for a few days (more like hours) and then probably bust off, like I had predicted.
Anyway, the new faucet works fantastic! Get this guys, it turns on and off with little effort at all. And, I can regulate the temperature! It brings washing dishes to a whole new level! I know, I know, I'm spoiled. But seriously, you know you're learning something about yourself when you feel spoiled because your kitchen faucet turns hot and cold water on and off. It's the little things.
I just have to keep thinking when I do turn the water on because it is hooked up backwards. Hot is to the right and is color-coded with the blue dial. And now that I think about it, in the three apartments we have lived in here in the big K, all of the kitchen faucets have been hooked up backwards. Is this what happens when you live on the other side of the world? Did Blue switch to meaning Hot?
It will be interesting to see if when we get back to the States, if I am actually used to the hot being to the right!
We have had some issues with the plumbing since we moved in. Nothing too major, but remember the incident with the police, and that whenever we shower, our floor collects considerably large puddles? Also, our kitchen sink faucet was bordering on inoperable. I kept telling Huzz that one day when I'm doing dishes, the handle was going to bust off and slightly cloudy big K water would be spraying everywhere.
Well, since Huzz spends the majority of his time working from home now, he has the time to be available for such things to get fixed. We decided to keep the shower situation on the down low, as we still aren't too keen on having our bathroom ripped apart while we are living here. Because in the big K, a job is rarely actually finished.
Our lovely Landlord, who speaks no English brought a plumber with him, who also spoke fluent Russian only, and they decided that instead of fixing the kitchen faucet, that they would actually replace it. I am still shocked about this! I was fully expecting them to fix the faucet, which would work fine for a few days (more like hours) and then probably bust off, like I had predicted.
Anyway, the new faucet works fantastic! Get this guys, it turns on and off with little effort at all. And, I can regulate the temperature! It brings washing dishes to a whole new level! I know, I know, I'm spoiled. But seriously, you know you're learning something about yourself when you feel spoiled because your kitchen faucet turns hot and cold water on and off. It's the little things.
I just have to keep thinking when I do turn the water on because it is hooked up backwards. Hot is to the right and is color-coded with the blue dial. And now that I think about it, in the three apartments we have lived in here in the big K, all of the kitchen faucets have been hooked up backwards. Is this what happens when you live on the other side of the world? Did Blue switch to meaning Hot?
It will be interesting to see if when we get back to the States, if I am actually used to the hot being to the right!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
No Home...
As I came out of our apartment building this morning, I noticed an abundance of stray dogs. It's like they all came out of hibernation this week. Do stray dogs hibernate? And I got to thinking about it and realized I had heard a lot of barking last night. I continued on my merry way to the bus and when I glanced at the little park to my right, I saw at least 10 stray dogs, running around, fighting and yapping. One little chihuahua-type dog ran right in front of me and looked startled, as chihuahuas tend to do all the time.
All of a sudden, I noticed there was an Australian Sheperd-looking-type dog right behind me, sniffing my bag that was holding my shoes (I was wearing my wellies), water bottle, hard-boiled egg for breakfast, and my actimel that keeps my tummy in check.
I jumped and ran out of the way like a little girl.
I love dogs! I'm not afraid of them, and my theory is the bigger, the better. But I'm scared of stray dogs. They freak me out. They're so scraggly looking and they look like they might have some bloodlines that should be familiar to the common dog-lover, but not quite, and they are scavengers. They're stuck between domesticity and wildness, and they go back and forth without a moment's notice. I was afraid this dog might bite me. And give me rabies.
And then, she just stood there and looked at me all pitiful-like and I think she had been smelling my bag for food. I didn't tell her about my hard-boiled egg.
But I just felt so bad for her. I feel bad for all of these stray dogs. If they didn't freak me out so much and if we lived in a country where there were decent vets and if there was a humane society-type program, then I'd be very tempted to take in a stray, or at least give them to the shelter.
But I'm not. Maybe it has something to do with the dead ones I've seen in parking lots, on the side of the roads, and in the gutters. I dunno...maybe.
All of a sudden, I noticed there was an Australian Sheperd-looking-type dog right behind me, sniffing my bag that was holding my shoes (I was wearing my wellies), water bottle, hard-boiled egg for breakfast, and my actimel that keeps my tummy in check.
I jumped and ran out of the way like a little girl.
I love dogs! I'm not afraid of them, and my theory is the bigger, the better. But I'm scared of stray dogs. They freak me out. They're so scraggly looking and they look like they might have some bloodlines that should be familiar to the common dog-lover, but not quite, and they are scavengers. They're stuck between domesticity and wildness, and they go back and forth without a moment's notice. I was afraid this dog might bite me. And give me rabies.
And then, she just stood there and looked at me all pitiful-like and I think she had been smelling my bag for food. I didn't tell her about my hard-boiled egg.
But I just felt so bad for her. I feel bad for all of these stray dogs. If they didn't freak me out so much and if we lived in a country where there were decent vets and if there was a humane society-type program, then I'd be very tempted to take in a stray, or at least give them to the shelter.
But I'm not. Maybe it has something to do with the dead ones I've seen in parking lots, on the side of the roads, and in the gutters. I dunno...maybe.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Oompa Loompa...
Sorry about my last post. As my title stated, I was losing it. I was in a weak moment and needed to moan about it.
Not that everything's all better. I'll just try not to do that anymore. I don't enjoy listening to people complain about their situation, so I won't do it to you all.
But seriously, have you ever been in a situation where you just felt helpless? I feel this extremely heavy weight on my shoulders and I can't seem to shake it. It is encouraging to know that in 3 months and 14 days, my feet will be on homeland soil again. However, it has also made me impatient. I want to go home now!
Jeez, I sound like Veruca Salt.
And I'm sure that sometimes, Huzz feels like Violet. "Can it, you nit!"
Anyway, I'm really trying to stay focused and keep my head down. My memory verse last week was, "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge. The fear of the L_rd is the key to this treasure." Isaiah 33:6
He is my foundation and nothing else can compare to that...even home. He is my home. Does that make sense? It makes sense in my mind, at least.
Everybody hop on over to Hannah and wish her a happy 1st birthday! She's so cute. We got her a stroller for her baby, since she's walking now. I hope she likes it!
Not that everything's all better. I'll just try not to do that anymore. I don't enjoy listening to people complain about their situation, so I won't do it to you all.
But seriously, have you ever been in a situation where you just felt helpless? I feel this extremely heavy weight on my shoulders and I can't seem to shake it. It is encouraging to know that in 3 months and 14 days, my feet will be on homeland soil again. However, it has also made me impatient. I want to go home now!
Jeez, I sound like Veruca Salt.
And I'm sure that sometimes, Huzz feels like Violet. "Can it, you nit!"
Anyway, I'm really trying to stay focused and keep my head down. My memory verse last week was, "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge. The fear of the L_rd is the key to this treasure." Isaiah 33:6
He is my foundation and nothing else can compare to that...even home. He is my home. Does that make sense? It makes sense in my mind, at least.
Everybody hop on over to Hannah and wish her a happy 1st birthday! She's so cute. We got her a stroller for her baby, since she's walking now. I hope she likes it!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Internet, Schminternet...
We have been having some problems with our internet in our apartment. It doesn't like to work between 7-10 pm. Our best guess is the infrastructure cannot support the volume of internet users each evening, but we wanted to make sure there was nothing else interfering with our ability to use Skype.
So, Gulnara came over the other night and was going to bring an internet guy with her. She came and immediately realized that the cordless phone doesn't work. We knew this and had told them, but whatever... We were pretty sure this wasn't effecting the internet capabilities, since the cable runs through a splitter.
Gulnara called her mom (landlady) to tell her the phone doesn't work and we could tell they were arguing about that. Saida called back to tell Gulnara that the phone DOES work, even though it doesn't. Really.
The next part got Stephen and I chuckling because as Gulnara was on the phone with her mom, her speaking slowed down and her voice got loud and firm as she said, "Mom, eta telefon nee ra-bo-ta-yet!" She pronounced each syllable deliberately, much as I would if I were trying to make a point. The exact translation of what Gulnara said is, "Mom, the telephone does not work!"
We have told this story to our parents on skype and they didn't really laugh. We think it's hilarious! You are probably thinking, "Yeah, that's not that funny." I guess you had to be there.
Sometimes, we just find comfort in knowing that there are similar cultural things that happen, even if you're on the other side of the world. A daughter making a point to a stubborn mother can be handled with pro-nounc-ing each syl-la-ble, care-ful-ly, and loud-ly.
Just thought it was funny.
So, Gulnara came over the other night and was going to bring an internet guy with her. She came and immediately realized that the cordless phone doesn't work. We knew this and had told them, but whatever... We were pretty sure this wasn't effecting the internet capabilities, since the cable runs through a splitter.
Gulnara called her mom (landlady) to tell her the phone doesn't work and we could tell they were arguing about that. Saida called back to tell Gulnara that the phone DOES work, even though it doesn't. Really.
The next part got Stephen and I chuckling because as Gulnara was on the phone with her mom, her speaking slowed down and her voice got loud and firm as she said, "Mom, eta telefon nee ra-bo-ta-yet!" She pronounced each syllable deliberately, much as I would if I were trying to make a point. The exact translation of what Gulnara said is, "Mom, the telephone does not work!"
We have told this story to our parents on skype and they didn't really laugh. We think it's hilarious! You are probably thinking, "Yeah, that's not that funny." I guess you had to be there.
Sometimes, we just find comfort in knowing that there are similar cultural things that happen, even if you're on the other side of the world. A daughter making a point to a stubborn mother can be handled with pro-nounc-ing each syl-la-ble, care-ful-ly, and loud-ly.
Just thought it was funny.
D to the Dubbs....
Who is the dishwasher in your house?
What's that? You have a dishwasher?
We don't. And we didn't when we lived in NYC, either. I forgot how much I hate not having one.
I despise handwashing dishes. The only time I don't mind doing them is when you have to wash the china.
But I registered for dishwasher safe china, so I will not even have this problem. One day. When I can live in a house with my stuff.
Gotta say: The dishwasher has to be one of the greatest inventions....EVER.
Lucky for me, Huzz is going home soon to do the dishes so I don't have to. Aren't I the luckiest girl, ever?
What's that? You have a dishwasher?We don't. And we didn't when we lived in NYC, either. I forgot how much I hate not having one.
I despise handwashing dishes. The only time I don't mind doing them is when you have to wash the china.
But I registered for dishwasher safe china, so I will not even have this problem. One day. When I can live in a house with my stuff.
Gotta say: The dishwasher has to be one of the greatest inventions....EVER.
Lucky for me, Huzz is going home soon to do the dishes so I don't have to. Aren't I the luckiest girl, ever?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
a LOVEly week ahead...
Yesterday was my last day of school for a week and according to our HR guy, for 9 working days.
Don't even get me started on that guy.
Anyway, we went to a mandatory party last night at the school with parents. I survived and only 3 sets of parents from my class were there, so not too shabby! Then, we all went to Matt & Sonia's to hang out. I fell asleep on the couch while Matt & Stephen discussed world topics. It was obviously very exhilarating. Stephen woke me up at 1:30 to go home and go to bed.
I had everyone over late this morning for pancakes and R'iordan loved them! He ate FOUR, all by himself. Big hit.
We are going out to dinner to this Italian restaurant called Borgo Antico tonight that we're hoping won't be too busy so we'll be able to get in without a reservation. This place never has more than two other tables occupied when we go, so we're hoping it is the case for tonight.
It's a great way to start our week long vacation together, don't you think? We decided on no gifts for each other, but just do this nice dinner together.
Have a great Valentine's Day, and tell those you love how much they mean to you!
Love,
Beth
Oh, and this is my 100th post! Crazy, huh?
Don't even get me started on that guy.
Anyway, we went to a mandatory party last night at the school with parents. I survived and only 3 sets of parents from my class were there, so not too shabby! Then, we all went to Matt & Sonia's to hang out. I fell asleep on the couch while Matt & Stephen discussed world topics. It was obviously very exhilarating. Stephen woke me up at 1:30 to go home and go to bed.
I had everyone over late this morning for pancakes and R'iordan loved them! He ate FOUR, all by himself. Big hit.
We are going out to dinner to this Italian restaurant called Borgo Antico tonight that we're hoping won't be too busy so we'll be able to get in without a reservation. This place never has more than two other tables occupied when we go, so we're hoping it is the case for tonight.
It's a great way to start our week long vacation together, don't you think? We decided on no gifts for each other, but just do this nice dinner together.
Have a great Valentine's Day, and tell those you love how much they mean to you!
Love,
Beth
Oh, and this is my 100th post! Crazy, huh?
Monday, February 9, 2009
New Apart-a-mento
Hey there! Welcome to the big K, and welcome to our apartment that we moved into about a week and a half ago. Please excuse the piles of things around the place, as that's what happens when you live in furnished apartments. There's nowhere to put your STUFF that you brought with you.
So, this is what it looks like when you walk in the front door.
Don't you love this little sign? Our good friends, Matt & Jonna, gave it to us. We will keep it forever to remind us of our time here.
So, this is what it looks like when you walk in the front door.
Don't you love this little sign? Our good friends, Matt & Jonna, gave it to us. We will keep it forever to remind us of our time here.
To the right is the living room. Now, here's what I'm talking about: there are no bookshelves in the apartment, so we have nowhere to store all of our DVD's and books, which are extremely important to us here! So, they are living in the box next to the couch.
This is the dining room, which is across from the living room. It gets lots of light because of the big window. That's why I liked this apartment. It doesn't feel like a hole.
Here is the kitchen, which is open to the dining room. It's alright. No dishwasher, though, and if you know me, you know that I DESPISE doing dishes.
This is the view from the kitchen. A few things to notice here: the drying rack for our laundry. The washing machines are just KILLING our clothes here. Air drying your clothes makes them very crunchy and threadbare...that and the fact that they spend about 3 hours in the washing machine with each cycle. Also, the curved doorway is leading to the living room.
This is the second bedroom that we only use to store a bunch of our STUFF and Stephen's clothes go in the wardrobe in there. And, all the bedding that the owners were storing in the wardrobe is now on the bed. There were about 10 blankets, none of which we are using because it FREAKS ME OUT to use strangers' bedding.
This is the toilet room. Not to be confused with the bathroom.
That is next door. Why they are separate, I'll never know. I'm sure there's some non-logical reasoning behind this.
This is the view from the bathroom, looking back at the front door.
And this is our bedroom. It's pretty much just big enough for the bed, bedside tables, and wardrobe. The sheets are ours and the afghan is one that I knitted a few years ago. Those are the only bedding items that my face will be touching.
Looking out of our bedroom.
And this is how I feel like it is sort of home: our books and pictures are arranged on the window sill in the living room. I look at these every day!
This is the dining room, which is across from the living room. It gets lots of light because of the big window. That's why I liked this apartment. It doesn't feel like a hole.
Here is the kitchen, which is open to the dining room. It's alright. No dishwasher, though, and if you know me, you know that I DESPISE doing dishes.
This is the view from the kitchen. A few things to notice here: the drying rack for our laundry. The washing machines are just KILLING our clothes here. Air drying your clothes makes them very crunchy and threadbare...that and the fact that they spend about 3 hours in the washing machine with each cycle. Also, the curved doorway is leading to the living room.
This is the second bedroom that we only use to store a bunch of our STUFF and Stephen's clothes go in the wardrobe in there. And, all the bedding that the owners were storing in the wardrobe is now on the bed. There were about 10 blankets, none of which we are using because it FREAKS ME OUT to use strangers' bedding.
This is the toilet room. Not to be confused with the bathroom.
That is next door. Why they are separate, I'll never know. I'm sure there's some non-logical reasoning behind this.
This is the view from the bathroom, looking back at the front door.
And this is our bedroom. It's pretty much just big enough for the bed, bedside tables, and wardrobe. The sheets are ours and the afghan is one that I knitted a few years ago. Those are the only bedding items that my face will be touching.
Looking out of our bedroom.
And this is how I feel like it is sort of home: our books and pictures are arranged on the window sill in the living room. I look at these every day!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Another Big Move...
Although, they are getting smaller each time. This is because every time I go to pack my clothes, I get more and more picky with what I put in the suitcases. I am so tired of moving all this STUFF!
But, we really don't have a lot of STUFF. We moved on Saturday, and it only took 3 trips in a Honda CR-V (not the largest SUV) and both of us and our driver still rode in the car. That's not that bad, right?
One reason I hate moving is that I feel judged throughout the whole process. While we're packing things, Huzz seems to comment a lot on how many clothes I have. It is taking him a while to realize that girls have tons more clothes than boys. It's just nature.
Then, I feel judged on moving day because whoever is helping us, and inevitably SOMEONE help us, which I am extremely grateful for, but that person/people always comment on how much stuff there is.
It makes me feel about this big.
Anyway, I was able to clear away two huge piles of clothes that I don't wear anymore -- thankfully, most of it is from my REALLY fat days, so it's too big. We are trying to figure out what to do with said clothes, as they are perfectly fine for wearing still, but there is no such thing as a "Salvation Army" or a place where you can donate clothes. Our church doesn't have a working program to do that, either. Our best idea is to give the clothes to the workers at the orphanage we have helped at. Now, getting them there is a new task.
We got all moved in to our Soviet apartment! It's very cozy and homey...and HOT. The heating runs on a government-controlled system and it is flippin' hot in the evenings. We are opening the windows!
It's pretty funny because when we were living in the first apartment last summer, when the electricity and internet and hot water would go out, we would look down on the Soviet block apartments below us and say, "At least we don't have to live there!"
Hello, reality check.
Ironically enough, I like the Soviet apartment more than that first one!
I was a little grumpy yesterday because I was finding that the apartment is just so dirty, I can't do anything until I clean it. Dishes, counters, floors, shower, furniture...you name it, I cleaned it.
Oh well. Patience.
Also, we are pretty sure the pipes under the bathtub are leaking, as the floor is sopping wet after each shower.
And we went to buy a drying rack for our clothes yesterday, but the cheapest one at the store was about FORTY DOLLARS, or 4,000 tenge. Um, no.
But I can't do laundry until we get one.
Sigh.
On the brightest side of everything, we finally have high speed internet at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has only taken us seven months, but we had it within 15 minutes of moving in on Saturday. Such relief.
And, we started watching the Lost DVD's yesterday. Kelsi got us seasons 1-3 for Christmas and we are HOOKED.
Do you watch Lost? Don't tell me what happens!
But, we really don't have a lot of STUFF. We moved on Saturday, and it only took 3 trips in a Honda CR-V (not the largest SUV) and both of us and our driver still rode in the car. That's not that bad, right?
One reason I hate moving is that I feel judged throughout the whole process. While we're packing things, Huzz seems to comment a lot on how many clothes I have. It is taking him a while to realize that girls have tons more clothes than boys. It's just nature.
Then, I feel judged on moving day because whoever is helping us, and inevitably SOMEONE help us, which I am extremely grateful for, but that person/people always comment on how much stuff there is.
It makes me feel about this big.
Anyway, I was able to clear away two huge piles of clothes that I don't wear anymore -- thankfully, most of it is from my REALLY fat days, so it's too big. We are trying to figure out what to do with said clothes, as they are perfectly fine for wearing still, but there is no such thing as a "Salvation Army" or a place where you can donate clothes. Our church doesn't have a working program to do that, either. Our best idea is to give the clothes to the workers at the orphanage we have helped at. Now, getting them there is a new task.
We got all moved in to our Soviet apartment! It's very cozy and homey...and HOT. The heating runs on a government-controlled system and it is flippin' hot in the evenings. We are opening the windows!
It's pretty funny because when we were living in the first apartment last summer, when the electricity and internet and hot water would go out, we would look down on the Soviet block apartments below us and say, "At least we don't have to live there!"
Hello, reality check.
Ironically enough, I like the Soviet apartment more than that first one!
I was a little grumpy yesterday because I was finding that the apartment is just so dirty, I can't do anything until I clean it. Dishes, counters, floors, shower, furniture...you name it, I cleaned it.
Oh well. Patience.
Also, we are pretty sure the pipes under the bathtub are leaking, as the floor is sopping wet after each shower.
And we went to buy a drying rack for our clothes yesterday, but the cheapest one at the store was about FORTY DOLLARS, or 4,000 tenge. Um, no.
But I can't do laundry until we get one.
Sigh.
On the brightest side of everything, we finally have high speed internet at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It has only taken us seven months, but we had it within 15 minutes of moving in on Saturday. Such relief.
And, we started watching the Lost DVD's yesterday. Kelsi got us seasons 1-3 for Christmas and we are HOOKED.
Do you watch Lost? Don't tell me what happens!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Skiing, Shashlik, and a Bruise...
This weekend, we finally decided to go skiing. There is a small ski resort only 30 minutes from our house. The teachers have been going for several weeks, every Saturday, but this was our first time going.
At the top of the mountain, look at the view!
They had 3 lifts open - all 2 chair lifts. They were painfully slow, so by the time you got to the top, you were F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G.
I had to take these pictures FAST because my fingers felt like they were going to fall off. Here is Stephen, all ready to go!
And my self-portrait. Isn't it lovely?
Nick (Woody's friend who is visiting), Anthony (Ant), and Robby (Woody)
At the top of the mountain, look at the view!
They had 3 lifts open - all 2 chair lifts. They were painfully slow, so by the time you got to the top, you were F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G.
I had to take these pictures FAST because my fingers felt like they were going to fall off. Here is Stephen, all ready to go!
And my self-portrait. Isn't it lovely?
Nick (Woody's friend who is visiting), Anthony (Ant), and Robby (Woody) We all met up for lunch at the outdoor cafe and had really tasty Shashlik. (Meat kabob) We had lamb shashlik and frites (fries).
I quit by lunch time because the slopes were SO ICY!!! I had taken a couple of good diggers and my hip was hurting. I decided I'd go to the indoor cafe and have some hot chocolate (beer) while the rest skiied for a while longer. I went inside and there were three empty tables, so I sat down at one and waited about 10 minutes for someone to ask me what I wanted. Eventually, the waitress came over and said I couldn't sit there. There's no point in me asking why because I wouldn't understand what she said. I'm pretty sure it was just because I was alone. And because people are really rude here. So, I went back outside, where it was F-R-E-E-Z-I-N-G, but at least the sun was shining, and waited for Stephen.
This is what I looked at for an hour and a half.
And this.
And this! They were giving hot air balloon rides, but the the balloon was tied down, so it just went up and down, up and down, all day long.
This is what I looked at for an hour and a half.
And this.
And this! They were giving hot air balloon rides, but the the balloon was tied down, so it just went up and down, up and down, all day long.I took some other pictures, but they didn't really turn out, since it was too cold to take my gloves off to take the pictures, my glove is in most of the pictures.
Eventually, Stephen did show up, along with some other teachers. By then, it was about 3:00 and everyone was exhausted. Skiing on ice is just too much work, in my opinion! We sat inside and had some beers before the bus left at 5:15.
When we left the cafe, I kind of had the feeling I needed to tinkle, but I figured I could wait until we got home. I was advised to wait, as the bathrooms left much to be desired. Think squatty potties that haven't been cleaned in who knows how long.
Well, by the time we got only halfway down the mountain, I thought I was going to pee my pants. I have never had to go so badly in my life. There's this skating rink halfway down the mountain that my friend said we could run in there to the bathroom. So, I jumped off the bus and ran to the gate, but another mean lady said "Niet!" She pointed to the trees.
Yes, I peed behind a tree. Oh, sweet relief.
But honestly, I would rather do it there than in a stinky squatty potty.
And later that night, as I was putting on my pajamas, I noticed a HUGE bruise on my hip. It is dark purple right now...almost black. Very pretty.
We decided we're not going back skiing until they get some more snow.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Scenes from the Crash...
**CORRECTION** The rental car is, in fact, a Toyota Corolla. Stephen informed me that this is why you get TWO sources when you are researching information. Guess who was my first AND second source? Stephen.
Remember this post? When I told you about the first time I've been in a car wreck, when I've been driving?
You didn't believe me, did you?
Well, here's proof:
See? We got hit HARD! In MY humble opinion, I would say he didn't just "slide through the stop sign."
Do you agree?
Remember this post? When I told you about the first time I've been in a car wreck, when I've been driving?
You didn't believe me, did you?
Well, here's proof:
See? We got hit HARD! In MY humble opinion, I would say he didn't just "slide through the stop sign."
Do you agree?The good news is the other dude's insurance is going to cover everything. The car is getting fixed, although it will take a month for it to get done. And, my in-laws have an awesome Honda Civic to cruise around town until then.
I am once again, glad this wasn't my fault.
Although, you can send some big P's up for my friend Angie, who is still not feeling so hot because of the accident.
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