The Last Year or So...

It has been over a year since the last time I posted. And in that post, I promised to post more often.

But, life happened.

I had an almost two year old at the time, who we were about to start potty training because I was pregnant with our second baby, due in October, and I desperately didn't want two children in diapers at the same time.

Going from one to two kids has been difficult, to say the least. This last year has been hard for me.  Really hard.  I have had a year of understanding perspective, adjusting my expectations of myself, and of my children.

I chose to attempt natural childbirth with Evelyn, which took a lot of research, reading, and practicing. And then, when shove came to pushing, I had to accept the reality that it would be impossible to do. My baby was born by emergency c-section. I panicked when my doctor told me this would be the case, and afterwards, I was sad, depressed, and in a lot of pain.  I questioned my ability to birth my children on my own. I entered motherhood for the second time in a deep hole of self-doubt.  If I can't naturally birth my children, how can I be the mommy I always thought I would be?  Things weren't as simple as I had idealized them.

But my friends and family complimented me in my ability to mother. My friends, especially. I don't know how you do it, Beth. You are a great mom. Inside, I was screaming, But, I'm not! I'm impatient, selfish, and tired! I do not love every minute of being with my kids. Most days, I wallow in my self pity. Most days, I feel like I barely make it. My house is always a disaster. I just want to be left alone, in my bed. I was lonely. I was depressed. And I felt like if I told my friends those thoughts, they would think I was a whiner. I got frustrated because I didn't want to give a false impression of myself. I wanted them to know that I'm not perfect, it's not easy, and I was really struggling. But I also wanted to be an encouragement to my friends, as much as I could be.

I realized that the more books and blogs I read about parenting and mothering, the worse I felt about myself.  I went to a parenting class for about 12 weeks and Evelyn was born halfway through it, so I had her with me for the last few weeks. The class talked a lot about the importance of a schedule, having order in your house, and making your relationship with your husband the priority. These were all things I knew and had done with my firstborn, Avery. No problem. Avery was a "textbook baby." She adjusted to changes in her schedule within a couple of days. Reaching milestones never affected her sleep patterns. She slept 12 hours at night and took decent length naps, and was a very happy baby. I also started reading a blog that talked about the same philosophy as the parenting class. The blogger posts weekly updates on her baby, and had them labeled so I could reference the age that Evelyn was at. The blogger's baby would sleep 12-13 hours at night and sleep 4-6 hours during the day, even at 6 months old. Every week when I would read it, I felt stupid. My baby wasn't like that. What was I doing wrong this time? Evelyn did not get on a nap schedule until 9 months old, and it wasn't for lack of trying, on my part. The child would not sleep during the day. I was at a loss. I wasn't getting any time to myself, even fifteen minutes. I was a failure. I was trapped.

I also had to stop breastfeeding at 6 months, when I had gone until 14 months with Avery. Obviously, it was the best decision for Evelyn, as she wasn't growing enough, and was feeding more than ever. This time was just dramatically different than it was the first time. I felt like a failure again. I wasn't accepting myself.  I wasn't accepting that my very best was enough.

Just in the last couple of months (Evelyn will be 11 months tomorrow), I have realized that everyone else's idea of "successful parenting" shouldn't matter to me. If my children are happy, well-mannered, and learning that Jesus loves them more than anything, then in my book, I am doing a good job as a mother. All parts of parenting have to work for each individual family. I am not saying that if it's too hard for you to say "no" to your child, then don't do it. Saying "no" to your child has to happen in every family, but the way it is done will vary.

I hesitate to give advice to any parent friend, even when they ask me for it. If I tell my friend who has children how we discipline our children, and then it doesn't work for their family, I don't want them to think, Well, we failed at doing it the way the Bruces do it. Stephen's and my standard of doing things for our household is what is right for us, but it's not for everyone. I've also discovered that we may do things one way for a while and then it starts to not work anymore, and we have to find a new, effective way of doing it. I have had to realize that this is probably normal. If I hold onto the thought, We have always done it this way, why isn't it working anymore?, then I try to force something that just is not working, all while wasting a couple of months, clinging onto what I've always known. It's silly.

Finally, my inability to blog during the last year plagued me. I admire the moms who somehow find a way to write on their blog several times a week. I seriously do not know how they do it, especially those who have young babies, who need their attention pretty much every minute of the day. I have had to let it go. For me, if I tried to put that much energy into anything other than my girls, I felt like a failure at everything. Blogging just isn't that important to me. However, I do want to document the girls' childhoods as much as I can, so I will figure out a way to do it. When I started this blog, Stephen and I were newly married, and I wasn't working. I knew we would be moving to a different country, so my motive with the blog was to keep our families and friends up to date with what was happening with us. When we moved back to the States, my motive to blog became a scrapbook for me and my family. Anyone who wants to read about it is welcome, but I'm not going to sit down and make a real scrapbook, so this is it.

I have had to give myself a break. I'm not saying I never feel like a failure. During the last several days, both girls are refusing to nap. It is beyond frustrating! I feel like I have tried everything, and still nothing works. Big, epic mom fail. I keep trying to remind myself that this is just a season and one day, I will really miss this time. I need to be present in the here and now, and not take it for granted. My house will all be clean at the same time someday. It is probably a long ways away, but I'd rather be on the floor playing with my babies than cleaning the bathroom. Needless to say, come to my house at your own risk! If clutter and sticky floors bother you, you might feel compelled to clean while you're here. By all means, be my guest!

All that to say, I'm hoping to be able to start blogging regularly again, but no promises. I will not be burdened by it, but I will be motivated to do it.

Mama Knows...

The past fourteen months has been the longest learning experience of my life.  I have learned that Mama is really the one who doesn't sleep very much.  I have learned that my husband is sort of willing to get up in the middle of the night, if I really want him to.  I have learned that that doesn't do much good, since it is impossible for him to produce milk.

I have learned that Avery does things at her own pace.  For example, right about the time I started thinking, "Gee, Avery should probably start rolling over soon," she did, the very next day.  But she just did it that day.  She did it several times that day, but then she didn't do it again for another week or so.  She had decided she wasn't ready to get all crazy and roll over all the time.  It was like she was saying, "Look, Mama, I can roll over.  I just don't really see the point at the moment."

She did the same thing with walking.  We knew for several weeks that Avery was capable of walking or actually running all over the place before she did.  And then one morning a couple of weeks ago, it was like she had decided in her crib before I went in to get her, "Yep.  Today's the day I'm going to start walking!"  It's been very humbling as her Mama because there is nothing I can do about that.  Now that I've realized this, I actually like it.  It makes me so proud of her - that she is her own person and not even her Mama can push her any faster than she likes.

The most recent thing I've learned is that I definitely have a Mama's intuition about some things.  I know when it's time to go in and get her up from her nap.  I know when she falls down and can just brush herself off and move on, or when she needs a little hug and reassurance that she's okay.  I know when she just wants to feed herself, dang it!  And I know when she's sick.  On Monday, I knew something wasn't quite right, so I took her to the pediatrician's office to get checked out.  Of course, the nurse practitioner said nothing was wrong.  Actually, she said she might have a sore throat, but she didn't have an ear infection or anything.  And I felt really self-conscious and embarrassed because this was the second time I've brought her in, thinking she might have an ear infection, and she did not.  I do not overreact, by nature, so when I feel like I've overreacted, I get annoyed with myself.  Anyway, we went home, without any answers, really.  She continued to be fussy and not eat very well, and pulled on both of her ears - which is not something she typically does.

Then this morning (Wednesday), she woke up earlier than usual, wouldn't eat her breakfast, and then I noticed she felt pretty warm.  I took her temp, it was 101.4 - the highest temp I had ever gotten from her, and I contemplated whether or not I should call the Doc.  Since I am a level-headed person, I perused the binder from the pediatrician's office and concluded that she probably has a "cold" now and could run a fever for the next 3 days or so.  And I don't need to call the Doc, unless her fever reaches 105 degrees?  That seems a little high to me, but whatever.  She took some Tylenol, we continued to hang out, and she continued to get fussier and clingier.  And warmer.  So I checked her temp a few hours later and watched the thermometer shoot up to 102 quickly, until it reached 102.4 degrees.  Then, I felt really bad for my sweet baby.  She was just miserable!  But I made the promise to myself that if it reached 103, I would definitely be calling Dr. P.  Thankfully, when I took her temp before bedtime, it was down to 101.1, so I'm hopeful a good night's sleep will do her some good.

And I'm trusting my instincts that when I know my baby's not feeling well, I'm probably right.  I guess I was right just a couple of days too early this time.  It's okay, though - I have at least another 17 years to get my timing down.

Motherhood...

Please go read this today.  You won't regret it.

Is this thing on....?

Ahem.  Hello, there!  Is anybody still out there?  I haven't written or posted anything since November 9, 2010.  That was last year.  63 days ago.

Shame on me.  Because the reason I blog is to document our lives.  For me. For Stephen. For Avery.  And for those of you who are interested enough!  Since November 9th, Avery has done at least 63 new things that I have missed documenting.  Boo on me.

I am really going to try to blog more regularly.  I'm not going to set a goal, if you will, because once I don't meet my goal of posting at least three times per week, or whatever it may be, I'll just stop posting again.  Basically, I just need to be more diligent about getting on here and writing every once in awhile and hopefully it will become more a part of my life again.

It's hard finding the time to do this!  Especially since Avery became mobile.  I feel like when she is awake, I am playing with her and trying to intercept her sneaking in the bathroom to peer over the side of the tub and say, "Ooooooh!"  Or heading her off at the pass while she tries to quickly crawl into a bedroom and close the door behind her and sit in front of the door so that I have to very carefully open the door and slide her backwards with the door.  Thank goodness for slippery hardwood floors!

I'm not going to try to play catch up with the past 63 days because, seriously - that's slightly overwhelming and ridiculous.  Instead, I'll just pick up at the present time and pretend I've been blogging all along!  Sound good?  Fantastic.

I'll sum it up, though.  Avery had a great 1st birthday.  Monkey cake, grandparents, and some little friends made it very fun.  Christmas was also a blast because all of our family was home for Christmas, from both sides.  Lots of cousins, aunts and uncles, and fun was had!

Now here we are in January - the start to a new year.  Although it's already the 11th, so we're almost halfway through the month already!  I had my second week of the new Bible study I'm in, which is on Revelation this time.  It's a Beth Moore study, and I am loving it.  I did the Daniel study in the fall and really loved it, too.  Daniel was much more homework-intensive, but I got so much out of the homework that I didn't mind.  I am loving this opportunity to study the Word with other women.



I am also loving being able to spend my days with my little Avery muffin.  She makes me laugh every day - her personality just lights up our house!  She loves to play games - all of a sudden she'll be peeking at me through the coffee table, or around the door frame and laughing and squealing.  She has always been a child who does things in her own time.  I've always known this, but it took me about the first eight months of her life to really learn that.  My most recent reminder of this is with her walking.  She is 13 1/2 months old and not walking yet, which I am actually fine with!  She is healthy and happy and she is working on the whole walking thing.  I think she just wants to wait until she feels safer "letting go" and going for it!  And you know what?  I think there's a lot to be said about that.  She is patient with herself, so why shouldn't I be?  I have learned that just because Stephen or I did such-and-such at a certain age doesn't mean that she will, too.  She just amazes me each day with her beauty and zest for life.  I just can't imagine loving her more.

She does not disappoint!  The other night, I got her pajamas on and we went back to the living room to play for a little while longer before heading to bedtime routine.  I was sitting on the floor, cross-legged, and she came over and used me as a ledge and just stood up, right in front of me.  She let go and just stood there.  And she continued to stand there, like a little meerkat!  I was astounded.  She just decided, I think I'm ready to stand on my own now.  And she was so proud of herself.  She just grinned from ear to ear.  And she kept doing it.  Sit down, stand up.  Sit down, stand up.  Practice makes perfect! 

The next day, we went to a birthday party at a play gym for little ones.  I put her down, standing, and she just took off!  She took about 4 steps all by herself, without anyone holding out their hands to her.  She just surprises me all the time, and I get so proud of her.

Do you think God sees us like I see Avery?  Do you think He's waiting for me to let go?  Is He waiting for you to let go?

 Yes, she is sitting in her baby doll cradle.  It's her favorite place to have a sit.

Why I Do What I Do...

I have been doing some thinking lately.

Like, deep thinking.  I know.  Risky business.

But seriously, I have been thinking about why I do what I do.  I know to some people, I'm just a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM).  And I know to some people, that is seen as a luxury.  And I know that some people can get very jealous that I stay home with our child.

Something that I am learning in my adult life is that the way some people feel about me or perceive me is completely out of my control.  All I can do is be who I am.  Please allow me to explain.

The thing that got me thinking about all of this recently is the concept of making Avery's baby food.  I decided that anything made fresh is definitely more healthy for you.  That's why most nights, I make dinner for Stephen and I.  While it'd be more convenient to throw a frozen pizza in the oven or crack open a jar of spaghetti sauce, I just rarely do.  We rarely order food in, and we go out to eat maybe once a week.  I'm not a health freak, but we try to lead a reasonably healthy lifestyle.

I want the same for our children.  It is more convenient to open jars of baby food for every feeding.  And I'm not going to say that Avery will never experience a jar of baby food because it is more convenient, it just might happen when I'm in a pinch.  However, it will not be a daily occurrence for her.  This is a choice we have made.

Not only is the homemade food better for her, it is incredibly cheaper.  We have bought all of her organic veggies at Costco -- huge bags (5-10 lbs.) that are about $5-7.00 a bag.  And I have 6 gallon size ziploc bags in our deep freeze, packed full of ice cube vegetables.  I figure it's more than enough to last until Avery is eating finger foods.  And I've only made 3 veggies and 2 fruits! Plus, we still have half of the bags of veggies left for Stephen and I to eat.  I noticed at Target that the organic baby food is over a dollar a 4 ounce jar.  The same stuff is about 68 cents a jar at Costco.  I am guessing that 4 of the 1 ounce cubes I made cost about 12 cents to make, if that.

So, it's healthier, and it's cheaper.  'Nuff said.

Anyway, analyzing why we've decided to go the homemade food route has made me think about my job as a SAHM, too.  Why am I doing this?

Well, I'll be honest.  I've always wanted to be a SAHM.  When I went into teaching, a big reason why I decided to was because it tends to be a little more manageable when you have kids...similar hours, vacations, etc.  However, I had no idea who I would be marrying and if it would be possible for me to be a SAHM.

When Stephen and I went through our pre-marital counseling (this was so incredibly important to us), how we would raise our children was a topic that we discussed.  Stephen and I both grew up in homes where our moms stayed home, for the most part.  It's what we know and what we liked.  We decided that I would most likely stay home with our kids, but that we'd re-evaluate when the time came.  It was nice to have the peace of mind that we were on the same page with such a big issue.

When we found out I was pregnant when we were still living in the big K, everything seemed to fall into place, leading to me staying home when the baby came.

This had nothing to do with finances.  It would be so much easier, financially, if I was working right now.  We are making so many sacrifices in our life right now because we are on such a strict budget.  There is coupon-clipping, shopping the weekly ads, meal planning, not shopping for pleasure, and constantly asking ourselves, "Do we really need that?" 

This has been harder for me, I think, than it is for Stephen.  He is simple and easy.  I have to discreetly throw away anything that belongs to him because he'll wear t-shirts, boxers, and socks way past what I would consider acceptable condition.  The guy still has all of his fraternity t-shirts and wears them frequently around the house.  They are threadbare and holey, but he says they serve their purpose.  Ha!  I love him so much.

When we came back to the US last summer, the job market was (and is) just horrible, especially for Stephen's line of work.  So, we decided to take a risk and start our own business.  It is financially risky for us, since we'll be living off our savings until we start to make money, but he is doing what he has always wanted to do.  And he's happy.  That is worth so much more than a semi-dependable salary from an employer.

We also knew that because we were starting this business, and I wasn't working a paid job, we would do our part of being responsible with our finances, but also we were going to rely on God to provide for all of our needs.

And boy, has He.  We have been under budget every month for the last nine months.

I'm not going to lie.  It kinda sucks.  Watching every penny that we spend and not getting to buy that cute outfit for Avery that she doesn't really need is hard work!  Being a SAHM is not a luxury.  It is a choice.  It takes a lot of self-control and perseverance.  I'll tell you what my motivation is.

This face:

Whether it's me staying home, or if it turned out that it made sense for Stephen to take care of her and me to work, we've made our choice.  We want to be the ones that watch all of her firsts.  We want to teach her our family values and beliefs.  We want to watch her grow and change every day.

This is the path we have chosen.

That's the beauty of all of this.  We all have choices to make when we become parents.  Where do we live, who do we spend our time with, what do we do for fun, who takes care of the child?  Just because we have made the choices that we have doesn't mean that everyone else needs to make the same choices.  Every family needs to make the choices that work and make the most sense for them.  Every family is different, so different choices will be made.

This is what works for us.

I'm more tired than I ever was teaching, and I don't get a paycheck, but it's sooooo worth it!

I hope I haven't stepped on anyone's toes with this.  The intent of course, is not to offend.  Like I said, we all make the choices that are right for us.  :)  It's actually only meant to encourage you to think about the choices you've made for your life.  Are they right for you?

Mother's Day...

Our Mother's Day was busy and great!

First, we picked up some Mimi's and took it to Stephen's parents' house for lunch.  Yum!

Avery got some quality time with Grammie.

And by quality time, I mean licking time.

You like it when I lick your arm, don't you, Grammie?

Then, we headed over to my parents' house for dinner, but started with a Mother's Day Margarita!

My mama and me

And Avery got to sit on Great-Grandma's lap!

And Daddy got a nap...

Wait!  I thought it was Mother's Day!  Does this mean I get a nap on Father's Day?

Ha!  Doubtful.

Then, we did some swinging, which you've already seen the video of.  I couldn't wait to post it.

Clearly, swinging was a huge hit.  Most everything is with our cheerful little girl.

This Mother's Day was very different for me, obviously.  Now that I am a Mama, myself, I understand what it's all about.

Finally, I am beginning to understand the sacrifices my mom has made for me in her life.

And how selfless being a Mama is.

And how I wouldn't trade it for anything.

How was your Mother's Day?

Oh, Man...

I decided I needed to blog tonight because it's been forever and a day since I last posted.  I'm sorry.  I just have a few things that keep me occupied during the day.

But when I sat down to do it, I didn't know what to write about.

So, as I was uploading a bunch of photos to show off to you, I had this overwhelming sense of how in love with my baby I am. 

So, I'm going to talk about that.

Holy Moly.  Those two, right there...  They are my world.

Striped baby legs!  Look at her thighs...yummy.  So cute.

The feet.  They kill me.

They are just so plump and soft and adorable and if my feet looked like that, it wouldn't be cute.  I should know because they did when I was ten months pregnant.  It was not cute.  But these little baby feet are. so. cute.

Sometimes, I look at her and she looks so big!  Look at her sitting on her daddy's lap ~ all grown-up-like.  With the feet.

For heaven's sake, she's grabbing and holding onto things now.

But it's only been three months!  Time, please stop.

What, Bear???  What are you singing at?  You freak me out, with the way you start singing when I wave my arms at you.

Look at all the different shades of pink in this picture!  You may think it's ugly.  I think it's part of the beauty of having a little girl.  PINK.  When I got her dressed, I basically pulled all the pink out of her drawers that I could find.  Mission accomplished.

See, this is what makes my heart stop.

She takes my breath away.

All day.  Every day.

Mmmm, Bumbo Seat.  Yum.

Grunt.  Grunt.  ...Trying to sit back up...

 The tray helps me sit up!  I love my Sophie le girafe.

But what the heck is this?  A caterpillar, you say?  Hmmmm....

Oh, hi Mom!

Be still my heart.

Whatchu lookin' at, Caterpillar?

You know you're a Mommy when drool doesn't gross you out.  Even when you wipe it away with your bare hand.  Even when you kiss your baby on the lips that are covered in drool.

Yes, I do that.  What?

Must. Touch. Gramma's. Face.

Spider-Baby!  

If you are a parent, you know exactly where I'm coming from. It's just that every part of me loves her just the way she is.  We'll see how I feel in about 21 months.  Ha!

Avery's First Valentine's Day...

Happy Valentine's Day, Avery!

What?  It's Valentine's Day?  I had no idea!

Well, in that case, I love you, Mommy and Daddy!

And now, I'm going to go back to chewing on my hand.

My dear little Avery,

I've never been a big celebrator of Valentine's Day in my life.  And then, I married your daddy.

*photo courtesy of Brad Walters Photo

And when that happened, I realized that the love that your daddy and I have for each other is different than any love I have experienced before.

And then, you came along!

And once again, I found out that there was another kind of love that I had never experienced before.

You and your daddy have taken my heart.

I love you both so much and I am so blessed that I get to spend the rest of my life with you!

Caribou and Mommyness...

Last night, I got a text from my Daddy at 11:30, asking if he could crash at our house.  My response was, "of course u can."  Daddy was driving back from middle 'o nowhere, USA, from a hunting trip with his buddy, Stu.  He was tired. 

So, he arrived around 12:50 am, which both Huzz and I stayed up to greet him.  And then, the 3 of us proceeded to shoot the bull until about 1:45.  AM. 

The last time I had fed Avery was at 11:00, and as Huzz and I were crawling into bed, I said to him, "Baby Girl should be waking up in about 15 for a feeding.  Pray for me."

Sure enough, she woke up at about 2:15 and I stumbled into her bedroom and blindly stuck the paci back in her mouth, which she took gratefully.

The next time I heard her, it was 6:32 am.  And I automatically grunted out of bed and stumbled into her room again, unswaddled her and plopped down in the glider to feed her.  Then, I started to emerge into the land of the living and it occurred to me that this was the first time I was feeding Baby Girl since going to bed, and it was six-thirty-two in the morning.

Praise the Lord!  Hallelujah!  Oh, sweet relief.

After I fed her, I went back to bed and woke up again at 8:30 to the sound of Riley The Dog's nails on the kitchen floor and her excitement resonating throughout the house because sheforgotgrandpawasdownstairssleepingandnowissoexcitedbecausegrandpacametothrowmyball!

Riley always assumes that people visit our house to see her and to see her only.  Ever since we saw the movie, "Up!", we always imitate what Riley's voice must sound like in her head like that of the dog's in the movie -- "You are my Master, and I love you."  "Squirrel!"  "I would love it if you threw that ball for me, I would love it, oh so much."

We love our Riley.

Once Daddy came upstairs, he offered to go to Caribou and pick up coffees.  I allowed him to get me a Mocha.  Hello, heaven.  While he was gone, I got online and found out that a medium non-fat mocha cappuccino is eight points on Weight Watchers.  Oh well.  It was delicious.

When Daddy got back with coffees, he turned into Bompa and got lots of big smiles from Baby Girl.  And then Baby Girl realized she was hungry again and demanded my attention, and my attention only.

I am relishing this power of getting to hold and cuddle and spend time with my precious girl, while she still likes it and isn't pushing me away for more interesting and fun things taking her attention.

I have never felt so important to anyone.  I'm not saying that my parents haven't told me how much they love me and stuff.  They always have.  But now, my sheer existence means everything to Avery.

I can't wait to teach her that her sheer existence means so much to me, too, but that it means everything to Jesus.  Because even though Avery is my sole responsibility right now for the next forever years, she does not belong to me.  She belongs to Jesus first.  I look to Him for guidance on how to do this mommy thing.

There have been several nights when Baby Girl wakes me up and I just don't think I can do it.  And then He quickly reminds me that I can do it, and I will do it because I love her so much.  He has entrusted her to me, and what a privilege that is.

I just pray that I can remember these things when she learns how interesting electrical sockets are, or when she is learning how to use the big potty, or when she decides to throw herself down in the middle of Target and have a fit.

She won't do that, right?

(crickets chirping.....)

Anyway...  Baby Girl just woke up from a nap in her crib and was not happy, even though it's not time for her to eat yet.  So, I put her in my wrap and she is sleeping contently, with her little hand resting on my chest.

She just wanted to be close to her Mommy. 

Good-bye 2009...Hello 2010...

This is a combination post.  I'm going to summarize what 2009 was like for me, and if you stick with me, you'll get the latest info. on Avery because she is six weeks old today!

When I really take a look at what 2009 was like for me, I realize how insane it was! I'll give a month-by-month shot of what took place in the life of Beth.

January ~ we finished up our trip in the States for the holidays and headed back to Kazakhstan.  I'm not going to lie ~ I was not happy to go back.  I was headed back to a job that completely drained and depleted me and I had five months of it left.  But thankfully, I had made some good teacher friends there and we all helped each other survive the final 5 months of the school year.  Also, Huzz and I went skiing!  How many people can say they've been skiing in Kazakhstan?

February ~ We moved into our third and final apartment while living in Kazakhstan.  Huzz and I celebrated Valentine's Day at our favorite Italian restaurant in Almaty, and it was a miracle that we did, too.  Since language was always an issue for us, we didn't make any reservations.  However, the maitre'd for some reason always remembered us when we'd go in...Huzz even had a "usual" that this guy always remembered, and he sat us at a nice, little corner table and while we were there, we watched every table fill up in the restaurant.  Towards the end of this month, I became pregnant, but I didn't know it yet!

March ~ On the 19th, I found out we were expecting!  I had been suspicious for about a week, but the first test I had taken was negative, so I waited a week to take another one.  And that one was clearly positive!

April ~ We took a vacation to Istanbul, Turkey, where we stayed in the tiniest hotel room for 10 days.  It was quite romantic, except for the fact that every night at dinner, my morning sickness would kick in and we had to head back to the hotel and hang out for the rest of the night.  While we were in Turkey, we found out that our best friends were expecting TWINS and were due just four days after me!  Just when you think you can't be more surprised....God surprises you!  This is a picture of me on a boat tour we took.  Even though it was so cold outside, I was not feeling well if I sat inside the boat, so outside it was!

May ~ We tried to enjoy the last days of our time in Kazakhstan.  We did a lot of hiking and day trips with our friends.

June ~ I finished up my school year of teaching in Kazakhstan and Huzz enjoyed watching Kazakhstan play England in football at the local stadium.  We set foot back on US soil at the end of the month and were very happy to do so!

July ~ We were back for only a few days before we jumped in the car and made trips to Iowa for Huzz's grandparents' burial services and to Minnesota for my family's reunion at the lake.  It was so good to see everyone again and have a chance to relax.  We also headed out to Seattle with Huzz's family for a few days.  It was so hot there, we had to go to a movie to get air conditioned!

August ~ We moved into our house at the beginning of the month.  I also went to my 10 year high school reunion.  Am I really that old?  Four of us were pregnant at the reunion!  Actually, there were five of us, but the other one was actually in labor while at dinner and she was gone by the time we took this picture.

September ~ There must not have been a whole lot happening during September....I remember going to lots of Rockies games!  And I remember the beginning of getting to the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy.

October ~ Huzz turned the big 3-0 and my cousin, Tad, got married.  I made the road trip to Omaha when I was 36 weeks for the wedding!

November ~ My due date was the 19th, so I spent most of the month anticipating the arrival of our little one!  My feet got so swollen, it hurt to walk.  On the 23rd, I made the decision to induce on the morning of the 24th and Avery came in the afternoon!  We were released on Thanksgiving day and headed down to my parents' house, where all the family was anxious to see us...and by "us," I mean Avery, of course!

December ~ Much of December is a blur, as the first month of having a baby usually is for first-time parents!  I turned 29 on the 19th, and we celebrated Christmas with both sides of the family.

As far as New Year's resolutions, I have a few things I'd like to accomplish this year. 
1.  Lose all the baby weight, + another 20 pounds or so.  That latter part will be the more difficult part.  If I can get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, I'll be happy with myself, but if I can lose more than that, I'll be really proud of myself.

2.  Get our house organized.  We live in an older home that has tiny closets and tiny bedrooms.  Not everything has a place right now, so things are piling up and it is driving me crazy.  I don't want to live like this anymore!

3.  Paint the walls.  We have had renters in our house for the past 4 years and the walls show it.  We need lots of patching to be done and I'd like to paint some colors, starting with painting Avery's bedroom.

4.  Do some gardening.  I want the front of our house to look pleasing from the outside, so that is first priority.  If possible, I'd like to get our backyard in tip-top shape, too.  We have lots of room to grow veggies and lots of plants.  I know nothing about gardening, but I'll be learning.

5.  It seems like I need a 5th thing because 5 things I'd like to accomplish this year sounds much better than 4 things I'd like to accomplish this year....  Oh, I know!  I want to make all of Avery's baby food.  My parents gave me an awesome baby food maker that steams and purees all in one.

Okay, and now for Miss Avery:

She is six weeks old today!  I can't believe it's already been six weeks since she joined our family.

Avery, you are such a joy to have in our lives!  You are getting so much fun.  You are consistently smiling at us and cooing, especially at your stuffed animals in your crib.  Last night, you slept in your crib all night long, waking up to eat every 3-4 hours.  You are a good eater!  Sometimes when I sit down to feed you, you show your disdain for taking longer than you liked by entering attack mode on me!  You are definitely getting plenty to eat, as your dirty diaper production is right on cue.  You are feeling more and more heavy and I'm guessing you might be nearing 9 pounds.  Avery, we are so blessed that God chose us to be your parents and we can't imagine our lives without you now!